DarkPoetry -|- BlackRobedMage -|- Eternally Yours

Eternally Yours

Not very good. I think it needs work.

Take me into your arms
Hold me close to your heart
Place me in your eternal embrace
Never my soul wander

Tonight I make my sacrifice
In the purest form of darkness
I would die willingly
To be near your heart

My one, my only, my love
Eternally yours forever
Life begins with death
Finally, an eternity together

I give myself to you
Drink me whole in love
As pure sacrifice
Our deepest form of bonding

In our love we walk the land,
But together in infinity
Outlasting all the brightest stars
Immortal in eternity

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Comments on Eternally Yours

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On Monday October 20th, 2003, Johny_D_Lewis (603) writes:

very well done....great write

On Sunday October 19th, 2003, Rebel_Angel (401) writes:

I think it is great and I don't think you should change a thing. I like it how it is...I also know how it feels to give the world for someone and they don't even notice.

On Friday October 17th, 2003, Urban Shipwreck (968) writes:

Sometimes leaving things vague really works as a great tool to tickle the minds of those peering in. I think it works perfectly in this case, very well done. ~Urban Shipwreck~

On Friday October 17th, 2003, BlackRobedMage (18) writes:

I'm still working on it so yeah there's going to be more at the end and more details. I'll fix it when I get the new one done.

On Friday October 17th, 2003, AlluringDescent_darkbride (763) writes:

Hmm...if you're thinking of expanding upon this...you could include some details. Right now it's a little vague which actually works out perfect...I really like this...no matter whata you think of it :P

On Thursday October 16th, 2003, Loserland (134) writes:

i like it as is..but if you feel you expand, expand

On Thursday October 16th, 2003, WinterGrave (337) writes:

I love this poem, it makes me think of the love of my life crystal, im gunna make he read this...on the other hand, i think the ending might be a little abrupt, you might wanna try and exspand it a bit...never theless, this poem is going tomy favorits the

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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/2412/21851 on Monday December 01st, 2008 12:01 PM

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