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"Sugar Pastry and Cigarette Ash" by TropicalSnowstorm

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You look so cute when you're sad, I want to
make you cry every day for the rest of your
life with the tears rolling down your face, lips
quivering and nose running into your mouth.
I want to drop your self-esteem into a Mako
shark tank so that the last thing that goes
through your mind before it's torn to pieces
is, "He doesn't care how good looking I am."

In fact, if it used your shattered tailbone as
a toothpick, "he" probably wouldn't be worried
about what it might look like to other people,
or how it fit into your current world view.
I'd love to see the little bits of you floating
on the surface afterward so I could finally see
what you look like underneath the skin-deep
layer of facade you've clothed yourself in.

You look so hot when you're mad, I'd like
to use your most prized possession as an
ash tray and snub out butt after butt on the
price tag I'm sure is still stuck to the bottom.
I want to take a piss on your baseless opinions until
you go home and rub your eyes so hard it wears
away some of the playhouse makeup and in the morning
I can see what your real face looks like under all that.

For now, let's have another drink and I'll give the
illusion that I care until somebody better walks in.
Besides, that seems like an awful lot of effort to
spend on someone that can't just act like herself.

-- Steve McKennon, February 15, 2004






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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Sunday December 30th, 2007, Kui (703) writes:
... Wow, I definately love the honesty and straight forwardness...-Gin


On Saturday February 5th, 2005, elisa (1987) writes:
nothing is more disgusting than someone chasing a society approved facade..I don't blame the people trying to look presentable to keep a job etc..but as for the people who fight to define beauty by some fucking image...they should fuckin' die~elisa


On Saturday February 5th, 2005, An Expired Member (27) writes:
but honestly your pieces just go out to prove that you don't need lines and lines to tell tales or explain things - it can all 'just happen'.skin deep?...Anyways awesome work, as always...don't want to drop any ashes on this price tag:P


On Saturday February 5th, 2005, An Expired Member (27) writes:
Damn, okay I might be overanalysing but does your construction; being very free-flowing and abrupt compare to the artificiality of the girl? Those two qualities, or hindrances I would say, openly depict the pretensions of the average, make-up queen.


On Sunday August 8th, 2004, Mademoiselle_Minx (131) writes:
person has a stunning personality to match?I dont know...but Its going to my faves.


On Sunday August 8th, 2004, Mademoiselle_Minx (131) writes:
ha i love this...but I dont know why.Maybe the brutal honesty or how somehow through all thats said I get the feeling 'he' does care just she's pissing him off so much he dunno how to make her see beauty is only skin deep and that a truely beautiful perso


On Sunday August 8th, 2004, Twilight (2084) writes:
this was brutal but in most ways, what needs to be said. in a world where poetry is all "fuck yous" and"i love yous" this definitely stood out for me. well done.


On Saturday July 24th, 2004, sixsixnine (560) writes:
fuck yes! you've made my day with this piece* tropical snowstorm you are the atomic shit of dark poetry.com 669 bows down hoping you like the way i look*** lol *** i want you!


On Thursday May 6th, 2004, sulkylime (258) writes:
Great piece..you won't believe how much i love this piece..left me with some thoughts..everyone i've ever met is more or less like -this (aswellas I), it's like a self-protection suit against the barbaric judgements hurled onto us people ... i think every


On Thursday May 6th, 2004, sulkylime (258) writes:
body is moreorless affected by the fear of being judged more than we'd like to admit. that doesn't mean we can't be "ourselves" perse, but the only person we can totally absolutely be true about "ourselves" is to our own selves .. thats what i think..but


On Thursday May 6th, 2004, sulkylime (258) writes:
this is not pessimism. i'm always in awe when i can connect to the ppl behind their suits..but of course some ppl wear too thick suits that its much harder to dig further, if at all..but sometimes, ppl try so hard to be "themselves" that they are no longe


On Thursday May 6th, 2004, sulkylime (258) writes:
r are themselves anymore. LOL. you know, some ppl even manipulate their coming-out-of-the-surface scheme , they're in control of their seemingly out-of-controlness and are self-conscious about how sexy they look when they're sad or mad :P


On Sunday February 29th, 2004, Wish Upon A Star (385) writes:
Seems almost like a testimony. I love it, such interesting ideas going on. Amazing. ~Wish Upon A Star


On Saturday February 21st, 2004, Spiritus_Frumenti (359) writes:
interesting ideas portrayed here...a sadist romantic idealist...odd complex and, most of all, impressive in its approach...fantastic write....-l-


On Wednesday February 18th, 2004, Ophelia (305) writes:
Oh my, I loved this, give me a ball cap and a pair of ratty old jeans a t-shirt and call me real. Can't handle made up beauties that spend there life savings on the image of perfect when all that really matters is what lies deep inside.


On Wednesday February 18th, 2004, Ophelia (305) writes:
Real is something alot of people don't get. The fact it isn't all image based. Give me happiness over everything else. Just because you can hold it or see doesn't mean it is real. Why spend a fortune on a fake tan or designer hand bag? Give me a frien


On Wednesday February 18th, 2004, Ophelia (305) writes:
A friend who will hold my hand in the good times in the bad one that never judges but will wipe away my tears and give me strenght. One that won't laugh at my dreams or tell me I look like I could use some lipstick........O.


On Wednesday February 18th, 2004, Ophelia (305) writes:
Or correct my bad spelling or lousey grammer.


On Monday February 16th, 2004, flying_fox (764) writes:
wow...don't we all know this person??? Fantastic write, poignant, effective, cutting. Love it. FF


On Monday February 16th, 2004, Velvet_Raventon (690) writes:
I bow down before your talent, amazing writer... Velvet.


On Monday February 16th, 2004, Bast (895) writes:
this is amazing. this is wry, and would be said smiling, a glint in the eye that is, for the person seeing it, frightening and cold.


On Sunday February 15th, 2004, Jonas (877) writes:
the truth comes out only sometimes when it's hard to hide when the twists of the innards tangle into knots and it's hard to make sense of what you're supposed to be... fakery... it's something that's hard to stand...


On Sunday February 15th, 2004, Jonas (877) writes:
i really like the way you've presented this... kind of a sadist that enjoys the beauty of truth elicted by duress rather than the suffering in general... tearing holes in the comfortable lies the woman in question has set as mantra


On Monday February 16th, 2004, purr_verse (1423) writes:
excellently said, and i agree absolutely. extremely effective work indeed. purr


On Sunday February 15th, 2004, Solace (1401) writes:
I loved the structure, and the first two lines are definately keepers! It would be nice to remove superficiality from the world, and I've never gone for a superficial woman just ones that act like theyre not...woops


On Sunday February 15th, 2004, nell (327) writes:
sometimes i get the impression thta guys don't see through the high maintenance chicks, thx for sharing this and showing me that some do just that;)


On Sunday February 15th, 2004, Dancing_Monkey (1761) writes:
I know this feeling all to well. Nice write. Easy to read and straight forvard.


On Sunday February 15th, 2004, capt_funguy (992) writes:
shame this is more social commentary than isolated cocktails with the wrong person --- unless every guy that's been outdoors met this same chick --- keep watching the door ---funguy


On Sunday February 15th, 2004, Cinn (187) writes:
yeah fake people really arent cool, this was though i loved the opening line.



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