I'm always saying that I don't like most suicide poems because they have no content. There is no explanation, no story. Just "this must end" type stuff. So I decided to put my fingers where my mouth is. This is the longest piece I’ve ever written. This is the only story I’ve ever written. This took a while to write…Yeah, well, with that said. Here goes…

Three years old
Not yet two feet high
My mother decided
She wanted to die

She’d had enough of this world
Enough of this pain
I just concluded that
I finally drove her insane

My father was a man
None wanted to know
A rude angry person
Each smile just a show

He left soon after
The “accident” occurred
My life for awhile
Was nothing more than a blur

Families came and they went
But my hate stayed the same
I knew that I only had
My stupidity and greed to blame

I finally found love
At the ripe age of seventeen
With a wholesome young man
Who was more than what he seemed

He promised me the world
If I climbed in his bed
And only I didn’t hear
The lies that he said

I hear love is painful
And one of kind
With the onslaught of “love”
I nearly lost my mind

They called me a whore
The next day at school
Although I only did
The thing they said was cool

A dirty slut and a tramp
Became my new names
When all the popular girls
Were doing just the same

I looked towards my love for defense
I looked to him for sympathy
And all I received in return
Was him laughing at me

I’m not sure what started
This rage inside me
I only thought of death
No one could ever find me

I locked myself away
For weeks at a time
Alone with my pain
It wasn’t a crime

But still they called me names
Whenever I went out
I buried my head in shame
While they would scream and shout

I couldn’t take it anymore
This abuse from every end
My foster mom never loved me
Never would be a friend

She joined in the mocking
She added to the rage
Then she would simply say
 “You’re at that age”

That’s when I started
Playing with knives
Whenever I saw other people
I’d break out in hives

I don’t know why they seduced me
But I was under their spell
Suicide is from Satan
I think I’d rather be in hell

I forgot about love
I only knew pain
They had become
One and the same

I entertained death
Each night in my bed
I’d kill myself a hundred different ways
Each night in my head

I stole a knife from the kitchen
And took it to the shed
I didn’t write a note
It would never be read

I’ve seen suicide on tv
It looked easy enough to me
I just make a tiny slice down both arms
Then let it bleed

I put the knife to my wrist
And wince with the pain
I barely make a tiny knick
Those guys must be insane

There must be an easier way out
Wait, I think I have a plan
I’ll hang myself in the closet
Just like my old man

I searched the house for some rope
All I found was a tad bit of string
And when they described a noose
I wonder, just what did they mean

I toss the string to the side
I guess I can just take some pills
They say everything goes blurry
I wonder how that will feel…

I have a date with pills and some water
I think that thirty will do
Nothing can stop me now
There’s nothing anyone can do

I take the first pill
And she walks in the door
She looks at the pills
Questions what they’re for

 “I hate my life”, I scream
 “Nobody really cares
And when I needed you
You were never there”

 “But you never called out to me
You didn’t feel the need
Besides, would you listen?
You would never have believed…”

The pills spill out
And the glass hits the floor
I hang my head down
As I head for the door

I couldn’t do it
I failed once again
I must live my live
The way it’s always been

No nothing could stop me
I was on my way
Just, why did my sister
Have to visit today?

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