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"Sonnet #1" by Liz

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Leave me with dreams of sparkling delights,
Of music sailing on oceans of gold.
Abandon me under the Northern Lights,
Yet hear as my true desire unfolds.

Not precious rocks buried beneath Earth's crust,
Nor rainbow fish submerged beyond the waves,
All ancient manuscripts not turned to dust,
Or wisdom from the fabled book that saves,

Not mem'ries of warm nights spent in the past,
Nor promises of still ten thousand more,
Belief that nothing ill can ever last,
Or stirrings of your hand upon the door.

No, none of this can hope to comfort me,
Waking to find my bed cold and empty.



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On Thursday November 15th, 2007, Ainsof (1831) writes:
do my eyes deceive me or is that a Shakespearean rhyme (it doesn't look Petrarchean or Spenserian...) and the final couplet, serving as proven by Will, to offer a concluding remark, almost like a logical implication, that in this case, doesn't suggest a reversal of the preceding sentiments. With the proper read, the iambic measure can be pulled off. Very nicely done.... well crafted with precise adherence to form.


On Monday February 21st, 2005, An Expired Member (1) writes:
nice write! I love the way the words flow, very moving! keep it up! :)


On Thursday December 9th, 2004, Clerik (49) writes:
Hmm......Impressive.


On Wednesday December 8th, 2004, Anth (1611) writes:
obvious how brilliantly written this is,what stood most for me was the originality and the beautifully vivid descriptions


On Wednesday December 8th, 2004, Valentine (508) writes:
An excellent, beautiful write. Memorable, fine and immaculate.


On Wednesday December 8th, 2004, AlluringDescent_darkbride (764) writes:
Now, I'm not the best at forms and the such but from a poetic ignorance point of view, I thought it was lovely. It had a nice rhythm and the ending tied it together nicely :)


On Wednesday December 8th, 2004, Liz (406) writes:
I left some crappy lines in despite advice from Dave, because I got tired and frustrated. My first attempt at a sonnet, perhaps to be followed by improvements.


On Tuesday December 7th, 2004, stormtalk (908) writes:
A well-made sonnet. Good flow, good imagery, very beautifully and stylistically done... nice job!


On Tuesday December 7th, 2004, Stormcomin (43) writes:
A wonderful, entrancing write! Excellent work!



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/2281/51936 on Friday October 10th, 2008 07:28 PM

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