I shall be forever plagued by red and white.

While those so close lamented, wondered,
(simple minds gossiped, wandered)
I simmered in silence with my truths.

What their minds have hoped to never grasp,
and see only as darkness
aching in their deepest dreams
I have seen, in red and white.

And I know those close wish not to hear
about the glass and steel and blood
The horrible truths of final minutes-

But I knew only this time
When disfigured drops stained a trail of red
On the pureness of an airbag
And I brushed blond hair from silent face,
looking for her life.

I tucked a blanket against the cold
where the car wasn't there anymore
And pressed a finger against white neck
Still warm and running red.

I desire no stories of childhood
No pictures and no best friends
As you who loved her avoid the death
I'd avoid the life I could not find.

Do her parents know our pain
that there was nothing to be done?
Can they imagine
tripping
on a white out road
littered with shards of red?

A child's eyes widen
in sirens' angry lights
before our long, silent ride home

I tried to forget.
As parents would deny my truths
I’d deny knowing the color of her eyes.
I want nothing of the life there was
before the sliding began, and everything broke.

But with a phone call, an email, a name
I can't hide from her now
I fear drowning in a sea of red and white.

I wish I believed in such peace as white heaven
Entered blissfully through broken cars.
I’m haunted by a lover traveling
Another white road in the night,
And I'd pray for his end to be far from red hell
Of no warmth and no help all alone.

She is everywhere I am
Found now in all that I see
And while some cope with the loss of her life
I mourn of my loss in her death.

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