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"Teeth Like Needles" by Liz

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The room was black, a solid black that coated the air and pressed down on Alex’s chest, making his breath come in labored drags. He rolled his head on the sweat-soaked pillow, straining to see.

Nothingness. Silence. Cold, heavy, blank emptiness. And yet he knew they were there, crouching, waiting. Ready to scuffle across the concrete floor on tiny claws the second he dropped his guard. Ducking into pockets of shadow neglected by the sickly moonlight. Moving in jumps, creeps, slides, like the wet breeze though the broken window and the choking gasps that caught in his throat. There, behind a bulging Adam’s apple, fighting to move. Fingernails dug into the palms of tight fists, gooseflesh rose on a bare chest raked by another gust of river mist. And the sour smell of Alex’s fear, feeding them.

He could hear them now, laughing softly. Raspy little sighs in the dark, digging at his brain like a corkscrew. He forced his eyes shut and clenched his jaws, grinding molars. Bare chest arched until the air could come in and tickle his back; then it fell with a force that shook the bed and was still. He strained to hear over the settling bedsprings, but the blood pounding in his ears was audible about all else.

Oh I gotta calm down… Oh shit! What was that?!

His eyes burst opened and scanned the floor, crazily.

Where’d it go? By the door? Oh God, oh god…

Chest began to heave, lifting Alex’s back off the bed again and sending him into another heaving fight for air. Wheezing, gulping. He saw stars, tasted the burning sunburst in his lungs.

Gotta breathe man, gotta breathe. It’s all in your mind…

Slowly, the fit subsided and Alex was able to squeeze back the tears of rage and humiliation as he forced his arms to relax and slowly flexed his fingers. They hurt. Now his ankles; they cracked as he rolled them. It was a strange and somehow reassuring sound that echoed off the floor and bounced around the dark room. His body unwound as he laughed at himself.

Oh man I’m such a dumbass. I gotta stop doing this to myself… There’s nothing here, there never was, oh man…

And then they struck.




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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Tuesday January 29th, 2008, SGT Bloth (197) writes:
WOWWWWw....that was friggin awesome!!! Bloth


On Friday February 24th, 2006, An Expired Member (10) writes:
Teeth like needles--I loved it--is a beautiful blue rose. There is always something unseen, something endured, and like always we suffer. To live is to suffer hell we all know that, but I was gasping for air with this man. Love ya.


On Friday February 24th, 2006, An Expired Member (10) writes:
Demonic attacks, or a mental wack, either way it kicks arse


On Sunday January 2nd, 2005, An Expired Member (31) writes:
i agree with blue. this is great


On Tuesday November 23rd, 2004, blue (1770) writes:
great build up, better ending. i loved it. B.


On Saturday November 13th, 2004, purr_verse (1438) writes:
Left me with a dark grin on my face! Excellent horror pocket. And I loved the title too.


On Sunday May 30th, 2004, Alacer_Cogitatus (194) writes:
me likey likey. i love these short stories! A_C


On Thursday October 30th, 2003, An Expired Member (39) writes:
Do you like to write things of this nature often? If so, post them here! This was great! Suspense is palpable throughout this one.


On Thursday October 30th, 2003, An Expired Member (39) writes:
And that last line drove it all home for me. I love when a writer leaves something to the imagnation. Great job.


On Monday October 20th, 2003, Raven (378) writes:
I found this quite by chance, but I loved every word of it... You have a talent for setting up an environment in which the reader can live for a short time... I feel as though I lived this..._Raven


On Wednesday September 3rd, 2003, RepulsiveAttraction (111) writes:
this reminds me of having a bad mushroom trip, and thinking yourself into an anurism. great writing.


On Sunday September 14th, 2003, SilentStalker (1336) writes:
Haven't been there. But, yeah, I like it.


On Wednesday August 27th, 2003, Markus Porkwing (706) writes:
Scary! Are they furry? Do they like cheese and bacon?


On Thursday August 28th, 2003, Liz (408) writes:
Naw, I bet they like flesh. I had in mind something like Gremlins, or Critters.


On Thursday August 28th, 2003, Liz (408) writes:
That is, if there's actually anything there.


On Wednesday September 3rd, 2003, Markus Porkwing (706) writes:
Critters rule. I loved those movies. I want a pet Critter.


On Tuesday August 19th, 2003, An Expired Member (22) writes:
i love it. well written very poetic. u feel like your in the room with him.


On Thursday August 7th, 2003, Bakkhus Unbound (1112) writes:
"neglected by the sickly moonlight" this is a well-written short w/ descriptive poetry; nicely done


On Wednesday July 30th, 2003, whort_diddy (204) writes:
I like this work, it is good~whort_diddy


On Friday July 25th, 2003, Deliverence (799) writes:
Whoa...such supense. one can feel what this dudes going through..nice..welcome to dp. I'm kefka...-Kefka


On Tuesday August 26th, 2003, boughtwithblood (296) writes:
the idea of tasting the "burning sunburst in his lungs" was the single strongest part if this piece, i thought. i think the last line could be improved. it was sterile in comparison to the rest of the piece.


On Tuesday August 26th, 2003, Liz (408) writes:
I hate when people leave you hanging like that, but I usually write way too long and I wanted it be be short, sweet, and viciously abrupt. I hope to try again with short stories soon.



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/2281/16521 on Saturday July 19th, 2008 12:40 PM

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