(steven, i'm sorry
this is the one
you inspired)

this poem is for joel
it's an apology for the day
i wore the black lace panties
that i bought in high school
for matt
and asked for more
when he couldn't resist

and it's for weston
who tried to help me
forget joel
and louie
and steven

i'll start by aplogizing
to louie
for this

kyle,
i'm so sorry those laughs
in the shower
sex in the theater
and the passionate note
you left in my dorm room
scrawled in green highlighter marker
amounted to nothing

and louie,
i'm still sorry

about weston and kyle
and cody and kobi and pablo
and kyle

but most of all
i'm sorry i gave up
as you gave in

i still cry at pictures
of your smile

and pablo,
i'm sorry
i hurt your pride
but more sorry i pled naivety
and cultural ignorance
to lie about kissing
that tipo con la mota


kobi from the mountain resort,
i'm sorry i didn't take your calls
and repressed your name
until last week

cody,
i slept with you
when i wanted louie
then left the country
and fucked migue
y louie
y pablo
y kobi

and then refused
to sleep with you
when i got back
because my sister told me
you'd knocked up
the bartender

and even though
she later had someone else's
husband's baby

i'm sorry to say

i'm still pissed at you
for fucking
the bartender

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