Dear Jimmy Pop,

I love you. I've loved you for years. When I was younger I tried to hide my admiration for The Bloodhound Gang. I was worried someone would be upset with me for rocking out to “Put Your Head Up High And Blow Your Brains Out.”

Now that I'm older and more educated, I'm not afraid to stand behind your awesomeness. I can defend my admiration of the writer behind “Yellow Fever” by pointing out that you also gave the world poetry like “It's ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday anymore.” I'm also a huge fan of this entire verse:


And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross
Ill tell them I found Jesus that should throw them off
He goes by the name Jesus and steals hubcaps from cars
Oh Jesus can I borrow your crowbar?
To pry these God damn nails out they're beginning to hurt
Crucified and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
I cant believe its not butter! I'll sing as I'm flogged
Yeah thats what I would do if I were god
So vote for me for savior and you'll go to heaven
Your lame duck lord is like Kevin Spacey in seven
With creepy threats of h-e-double-hockey-stick
You just cant teach an old God new tricks
But would I be a good messiah with my low self-esteem?
If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy?
Just sport some crummy holier than thou facade
Yeah thats what I would do if I were god.


You're an inspiration, Jimmy. And what's more, you're hot. I love that ridiculous face you make with your lips and eyebrows, especially in the video for Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss. You've gotten better with age. Now it's clear that you're not just a foul mouthed punk. You're truly committed to this style, and I say thank you.

Your biggest fan,
Liz

(write back as soon as you can)

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