SPINNING FALLING
going nowhere fast
Lonely
Alone
Staring at my reflection
In a carnival mirror
WARPED DISDTORTED
Obviously not me
not anyone I recognize
Tears
Hot burning tears
Burn Sting my face
SPIRILING out of control
Fighting to brave through it
To make it
To justify the pain that has long since
Plagued me
Defined me
Made me
Who I am
What I've become
Repeatedly Repeating
Over and Over again
Instilling in me a driven rage to
Survive
Thru the multiple and many
Thoughts and dreams of death
SPINNING SPIRALING
On a neverending course of self destruction
Suicidal tendencies
Deep regret
Lost betrayal
Lies kept
Secrets spoken
Life's torn
Hearts broken
Distraught and depressed
Shattered mirrors leave jagged images
Warped visions become
Nightmarish realities
SPINNING FALLING
Going nowhere and everywhere alone
So fast
Confusion mounts
Chaos lingers
Taunts become cries
My hollow heart rapidly
Beats Plunging into my own insanity
Breaking my concentration
Emptiness is lonliness
As is the way I feel
So desperate for death
Wanting it to end
To dissipate
Drowning in a sea of
Clusterfucking Confusing Depression
That I have let myself
Allowed myself
To wallow in
Gasping
Grasping
Begging
Pleading for an answer
Something real
Meaningful
Yet for all the pain
For all the agony
For all the absolute desperation
I still find myself on a search
for someone else
Lost my way while looking
for someone else
to make me happy
When the reality
Painful reality
Of it all is
I own my own happiness
I must believe in myself
or that happiness is forever lost
in the sea of saddness
that I will drown in...................................

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