I used to think it mattered
what people thought of me
I had to own what others had
bleed for society

keeping up with the Jones' is so
exhausting..

I used to think it took another
to create a perfect whole
My life would be meaningless
without someone who loved me

I had to find that perfect "someone"
or I would remain
"Noone"

Life wasn't worth living
Unless you had someone to
share it with..


looking for love under trash heaps
is dangerous...

I used to think my self worth
was measured by my net worth
or my dress size

Loving ourselves can be
a conglomeration

I used to think karma
was something that happened to others
I could be gluttonous
for things I couldnt live "without"

A deadly sin is something just that..
deadly

I once thought I couldn't live
another day...without you
The names and faces changed
but the embodiment remained..

I was wrong
so very wrong

I woke up
Learned to love all of me
The good, the bad and the ugly

The scar just above my eyebrow
The compassion that welled within my gut
The large breasts that caused my back to ache
My raging temper, that so roughly spilt
The empathy that forced me to be a bleeding heart
My need for a heart
My cunning wit
The bluest of eyes that could smile if given a reason
The sternest of welts if my anger toiled.

I learned to truly love myself
Not needing any others
Not needing reassurances
measured by others wantings


I learned this by looking inside myself
and not making excuses
I learned to help myself
Not rely on others
For what only I could truly give
I stopped looking to others
to complete me

I grew content within myself
the strength I harbored
the fufillment I held
the intellect I possessed
the beauty that ravaged me..
Inside and out..

and I fell in love..

A love noone else can give me
bring me
offer me
take from me


As I sat content to live alone

You found me
and slipped right beside me
as if you were always there
with me...

what you told me
caught me off guard
and brought a smile to these lips

My confidence...was what attracted you
My persona.. kept you at my side
My poisonous laugh ..entangled you
My touch...left you weak



I knew I couldn't love another - if I couldn't love myself
It just took time for me to realize this and allow myself to love

Me..

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