(mystery solved)

The voices in my head
are none other than my own
the many swinging moods and attitudes
strike up like a dissonant chorus
the democracy of argument and debate
(yesnoyesnoyesnoyesnoyes)

Constant cognitive dissonance
split second decisions
rethought again and again
regret and doubt are unwanted
a mere choice
reveals not only the decision made outwardly
voiced
but underneath
the layers of doubt and indecision
echoing and fighting
under the calm appearance
of a nod of finality
(donewaitdonewaitdonewaitdone)

Do not doubt these voices
interrupting my daily process of cognitation
if I do not write my thoughts down
I forget the beginning and
therefore tangent off to find an end
(whatwasIjustsaying?ican'tremember)

Why am I not better spoken aloud
but for the simple fact that
I cannot quiet the voices in my head
when I'm trying to focus on
articulating verbally a lone expression within several
like fearing to expose
a lone drop of water to a raging river
it does not matter
what this drop has to distinguish itself
I'll lose it, I will not find it
once it's descended
to be pushed away
with little care for my searching eyes
desperate to find it again.
(where?therewhere?therewhere?therewhere?)

The voices don't really talk to me
that's the problem
they talk past me
and over me
and around me
saying every thought
I have and causing
doubt and indecision
(maybeornotmaybeornotmaybeornot)

I make music to balance them out
and practice talking aloud
to focus my mind and tune them
distractions are all they are
but I fear I'd be lonely without them
they amuse me when I'm bored
yet keep me awake at night
reminding me of things yet to do
(wakeupshutupwakeupshutupwakeup)

I suppose overall they make me
who I am and are more of a blessing than a curse
so I suppose this is simply an ode
to the voices

#73

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