From My Journal 9/18/2008



Here I sit at the edge of the vast ocean. The water is grey-green and unsettled to match the low and blowing dark-grey clouds which hide the sun.

Two little seabirds scurry along looking for food, but always staying close to one another. They know.

They Know it is not good to be alone.

I have known this since I was just a boy - sitting alone on a beach and looking to the future, so lonely, yet so full of hope.

To share that Unity of Spirit is the only thing I have ever truly desired from the core of my being. To play in the waves, and love, and live. Giving and receiving, mutual desire and acceptance, sharing the peace and the excitement and the everyday wonders of unity... these are the things that make life full.

The sun peeks out for a moment. It could be a beautiful day. Oddly enough, there is a marriage party a couple of hundred yards from here.

I hope they take every opportunity to give, and to take delight in the giving of themselves to each other.

My life is not worthless, but neither is it complete. I am neither great not vile. I am just a man that has given am imperfect but loving heart away only to discover that either it wasn't enough, or it was too much.

Once fast, once slowly, once fast. Over half of my life has gone in these three beats of my heart.

Here I sit, alone, listening to the wind and the waves.

I still wish for that soul-mate to join me. Together, we would turn even the grey skies into a shrouded palace and sand into a castle.

That kingdom would be my fairytale.

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