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"The Jumper" by snakeskingrin

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Stepped through the window shuddering
Sick at heart, shaking and muttering
On to the concrete strip of my death
Facing the wall and seeing my breath

Creeped on the ledge as the city slept
For my lost love, I bitterly wept
Dark and cold as I hugged the wall
Wanting to jump, afraid to fall

She led me here, to take my own life
Untrustworthy woman I made my wife
Remembering the pain of her neglect
As I gave myself time to reflect

No other love could restore my soul
Bitterly broken, a hapless fool
Knowing its time, I turn around
Open my eyes and look at the ground

I picture freedom, not the hard earth
The end of my pain, a selfish rebirth
Fearing a slip. I step out and drop
Flying in blackness, now I can't stop

Free of her now, I sail toward my death
The rushing wind has taken my breath
Designed to destroy her, my upcoming end
I realize with pain, she'll probably mend

Clarity comes, revealing my haste
Too late I learn my death is a waste
I hear myself screaming, a terrible sound
My final thought before hitting the ground
 



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On Friday June 27th, 2008, heroineyes (146) writes:
i agree with tiger king...i like the rhyme to the images...


On Friday June 27th, 2008, Rebell tiGer King (544) writes:
very interesting write here, i do enjoy the rhym as well, it fits really good to the images i recieve from this, well written -symph-


On Friday June 27th, 2008, snakeskingrin (66) writes:
thank you...it is a pretty old poem, but I still like it a little..:)Snake


On Thursday June 26th, 2008, SilentStalker (1318) writes:
...I usually don't receive suicide poetry very well, but there's a reason behind why I extremely love this write...if I see more of this style, no matter the subject, you might end up with a faithful reader...


On Friday June 27th, 2008, snakeskingrin (66) writes:
Thank you, I certainly hoped to portray suicide as a complete waste that the subject discovered at the last possible moment...unfortunately too late for him. Snake


On Friday June 27th, 2008, SilentStalker (1318) writes:
...can't say I did the same with one I did similarly, but in another one I wrote, I added the element of fear and regret; I especially like the structure you gave to this, on top of the overall feel to it; reminds me why I myself love writing...


On Friday June 27th, 2008, snakeskingrin (66) writes:
Thank you very much!! That is a wonderful comment, I am honored...and I read one of yours and have found my first poet to "bookmark" at this site...:)Snake


On Friday June 27th, 2008, SilentStalker (1318) writes:
...could very well be because of the Poe thing; though my reason to better my writing was to achieve a poem in trochaic octameter like he did...


On Thursday June 26th, 2008, An Expired Member (6) writes:
I generally do not like rhyming in poetry, but this piece is very good. I enjoyed reading it.


On Thursday June 26th, 2008, snakeskingrin (66) writes:
thanks I appreciate your comments and will take a look at some of your stuff soon :)Snake



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/17727/111039 on Sunday November 23rd, 2008 04:39 AM

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