I'm not Stiffler's mother
and this isn't American Pie
if you keep buzzing around me
I'll swat you away like a fly

shoo little boy, just go away
you're like a puppy that's learned to beg
and I've had enough of you
trying to hump my leg

I'm not a cougar
I don't look at you and smell prey
but every time you're sniffin' around
I pray you'll just go away

i know it's popular thinking to bag yourself a MILF
let go of that thought, get it out of your head
I am never going to be a notch
on the wall behind your bunk bed

I know you think I should be flattered
by all your youthful attention
but it's hardly paying me a compliment
when everything gives you an erection

I have no need of your amateur fumblings
when seasoned players abound
I don't want to have to tell you what a clitoris is
or direct you to where it can be found

it's time for you to realize
I'm pre-menopause, you're barely past puberty
and cookies and milk should never be taken
with hormone replacement therapy

If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others