Once upon a time in the land of Neurosis in a place called Middle-Class a real girl was born.
She was born unto a family who's name is Dysfunction
She was a good girl who learned by her parent's example
and followed blindly in their footsteps.
Every Sunday she went to church to hear the Good News according to the Gospel of the Holy Trinity of the Three Bears.
No bed we choose to lie in should ever be too hard or too soft.
Mediocrity is the path of the chosen.
Happiness is found in keeping up with the Joneses.

Growing up in the Garden of Suburbia, she blossomed into a perfect plastic flower, just like all the others.
She stayed in her row, nourished by Processed Food and Starbucks Nectar, steering clear of the temptation of Milk and Honey.
Eventually she met a man from the clan of Makes a Good First Impression, a wolf in sheeples clothing.
Her parents said, "He's good enough. There is no truth in the Promise of Something Better."
They recited this mantra as they had learned it from the Sacred Scrolls of Oppression.
It had been penned by a wizard named Right Wing Politician who's Acolytes now ruled the land.
She bought into it and gave him her dependence in marriage.
He promised her a castle but built an ivory tower.
He erected for her a Pedestal of Misogyny in his Garden of Control and placed her thusly upon it.
Having succumbed to the Plague of Malaise (as they all did) she thought some company might be nice.
She arranged a visit with the Doctor who wrote her an invitation.
Auntie Depressant and Prince Valium were coming to stay!
She'd be okay, she knew without a doubt, that in the grip of their companionship...

Life would be bland!

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