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"Cities of Gold" by fallen

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Cities of old.
Cities of gold.
Dining on ashes the truth will unfold.
Crumbling towers meant for the sky.
Lovely sweet children lined up to die.
Circling madness and impending doom.
A bride stares with sadness at her dying groom.
We weren’t careful and we knew the cost.
Cities of gold whose fortunes were lost.

It wasn’t the silver.
It wasn’t the gold.
It was the souls of stories untold.

It wasn’t the reaper.
It wasn’t his sickle.
It wasn’t bad luck.
Though luck is so fickle.
It wasn’t the word.
It wasn’t the sword.
It was a nation’s final reward.

I stumbled through wreckage and countless dead.
I cried like a child who won’t go to bed.
I tasted these tears through broken young eyes.
I tasted the words of a madman who lies.

Let this be a lesson and let it bring change.
A nation’s worst peril will never seem strange.
It’s written in seasons for all that will see.
This isn’t a nation for the land of the free.




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On Thursday January 3rd, 2008, NikesRain (1424) writes:
fine write and nothing needs to be changed.... the flow, although i'm not one for rhyme, is smooth and the message and emotion unmistakable... well done and much food for thought


On Tuesday January 1st, 2008, Nill (165) writes:
:). Nice. Really though. 'Though luck is so fickle' seems out of place. Kinda chops up that stanza. ABout the only thing that I can see needs improvement. I'd tell you what to do, but it's just what I would do. Anyway. Liked it.


On Wednesday January 2nd, 2008, fallen (275) writes:
That's the point. Luck had nothing to do with it. Describing it as fickle shows how random luck can be to further the point.


On Thursday January 3rd, 2008, Nill (165) writes:
Yes. That may be true. But I'm not trying to criticize what's said. Just where it's said and how. That's all. I just think it's a little out of place. It breaks up the repetition. Or I could have been stoned when I read it. Dunno. Just something to think about maybe. It's still good though dude. I like it.


On Wednesday December 26th, 2007, Sharon Rose (666) writes:
you remind me of someone..probably myself, when I care enough that we're destroying ourselves...I don't care enough today. Let the cities lie in dust...


On Wednesday December 26th, 2007, Aunty Depressant (662) writes:
So aptly put. War and despair, seem to be part of the emotional climate of our species. I just wonder what will be the catalyst to finally end our twisted empire, and to what end.


On Wednesday December 26th, 2007, Esau (284) writes:
word fucking up brother. that sure paints a pretty picture of where we're heading. land of the free indeed. at least they let us hold on to our speech, just part of the tactic though. just wait till that goes. excellent write.



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/16831/105262 on Thursday December 04th, 2008 05:35 PM

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