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"You could have heard a pin drop..." by After hours

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Slip in the bones and throw in some organs, add water and there I am-nobody told me it came with a soul.
It wasn't until a car wreck, that I truelly had my first thought,
I were given three days of coma time to find my soul,
and when we met , It were as if being fostered out as a child and reunited 20 years later,...a dopple-ganger with a mouth full of answers.
When I were a child I use to close my eyes everytime Pop took me for a drive, twenty years later I adopted the same philosophy, only Pop wasn't driving, usually for a couple of seconds, sometimes four, but once for six, who'd a thought six seconds of silence would lead to a life time of audio....i'll never move as long as I live, but if a pin drops - I'm the first to know...
Pops an ass-hole, he never asked once what I were doing.



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On Tuesday June 24th, 2008, saintedmad (1156) writes:
the allegory in this is stunning; shivering; and quite austere. .. .i concur with sketso; the 'driving' force behind this feels nearly sinister....and your use of imagery is like secondskin drapery. .. doppelgangers and surroundsound. . .. more echo-location. .. . vivid nuance and somehow this all feels disconnected; disjointed; diengaged....but makes perfectual sense, like a broken record---you know what should be coming, but all you hear is skipping.a.beat...like a crushed heart.


On Wednesday March 12th, 2008, After hours (569) writes:
spot on sketso, had a few words in my head at work, went home started with them, within 10 minutes I were finished, no plan completely random, thanks


On Tuesday March 11th, 2008, Geisha (772) writes:
Excellence in itself


On Tuesday March 11th, 2008, Sketso (547) writes:
Pop "driving" for 2-6 seconds of silence. I'm still quite intrigued by the sense of the "hidden" in this write.


On Tuesday March 11th, 2008, Sketso (547) writes:
"nobody told me it came with a soul." I'm quite interested to know what inspired this lovely bit of introspect. It flows as easy as if all the thoughts were my own, in a random build up to the one thought that may have accidentally spurred the rest.


On Tuesday March 11th, 2008, elisa (2036) writes:
such a disjointed sense of consciousness...perhaps the sound of clanking thoughts from a mind imprisoned in a body. excellent write. riddled with intrigue.



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/16815/107577 on Saturday August 30th, 2008 10:05 AM

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