i have bigger things to worry about then being alone now
i feel something growing within the walls i've placed around myself
what is it?
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i am one thing forgotten by all
go back before i see you
turn around before i remember
its so lonely where i am
i am a
[Remnant Personality]
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strength in decay
wisdom in death
pain led this way
held in stale breath
a painful smile, a happy tear
calm anger held in comforting fear
a problem is only as big as the emotional weight behind it
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Artist: Butterfly Effect
Song: Before They Knew - IMAGO soundtrack
were you holding fathers hand?
did your mother bleed
and understand
how your whole life slipped away?
fading under the grade
did the world around you fail?
and were you hiding for us all to see?
when the world around you fails
when it all came down on me
is it dark within your mind?
does your body ache for love sometimes?
is it cold within your room?
did you pray they'd come back for you?
did the world around you fail?
when it all came down on me?
the answer's
always here
beneath your skin
im not
coming down
does it feel like this?
sometimes
when the world stops turning
long before they knew
does it feel like this?
sometimes
when it all stops working
now
it's alright
we dont have to think about it
it's alright
we dont have to talk about it now
its all right now
* * *
Artist: Infected Mushroom
Song: In Front of Me - Vicious Delicious soundtrack
Why can't I see what's in front of me?
I see the doors that I can't open
Adding locks from time to time
When it opens something blocks me
And I'm asking myself why
Did I take the step I wanted
Was it just a state of mind?
I feel sorry for myself
every time I close my eyes.
And I fall into a hole
and I can take no more (x4)
Why can't I see what's in front of me?
What's behind the door I wonder
Must be brighter than my past
Will I feel a little different
When i take myself across
Was it really worth the turning?
Was it just a foolish task
I feel sorry for myself
when i open up my eyes...
and I fall into a hole
and I can take no more.
* * *
Artist: Butterfly Effect
Song: Aisels of White - IMAGO soundtrack
soft pallet breaking
lost in aisels of white
corridors are shaking
and i can see the light
waiting for something
waiting for someone
please release me
i can barely breathe
i watch the ground beneath me
no more the want to be
waiting for something
waiting for someone
dont fall we could have had it all
another breath your taking
slow rise your love is suicide
this heart is slowly breaking
waiting for something
waiting for someone to arrive
waiting for something
waiting for this day to arrive
your hands upon me never give away
temptation haunts you
it walks beside me always
they're calling me from heaven
to walk towards the light
hey wait this time its not too late
to stop this ship from sinking
dont go so much you didnt know
its never what your thinking
i've waited for something
waited for someone to arrive
i've waited for something
waited for this day to arrive
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JTHM:
without fail! every time i leave my house, it's as if i've given up my every right to be left alone, or treated with respect!!! you flies, with your unyielding little minds! you think my difference from you is an excuse to comment on me, as if i were on display for you!! like im the way i am because i want the incessant gawking of strangers!!
dear die-ary
today i stuffed some dolls full of dead rats i put in the blender. im wondering if, maybe, there really is something wrong with me.
i stared, motionless, before the mirror, as always, i stayed until im convinced that there is no glass, nothing, separating me from the room i see on the other side.
i imagine that everything is different over there. better. there are people, in that world, who would like me.
but as always, my hand hits the glass.
i know that if i waited just one more second...
SHIT
im going to kill a party clown.
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i will live in the memory of those who care to remember me ♥
memor mihi
