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"Heartless, Ceaseless" by Rhys Ki

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You promised me forever;
I guess forever’s come and gone.
It’s hard to tell, even now,
But you think I’m in the wrong.

Who are you to judge, though,
When all I gave you was love?
Even in the brightest day, I helped
When you weren’t tough enough.

You accuse me of heartlessness
And say you want to leave,
But why can’t you see my heart will sing
Even though it’s still just trying to beat?

You say that you’d rather
Die (of course!)
Because even that would be better
Than loving a corpse.


Just know that after you’re gone,
And I’m lost in my eternal night,
Remembering the pain, I swear to God,
I’ll think of you every time I bite.




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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Thursday July 26th, 2007, Unforgotten (156) writes:
Hey not bad for someone that says their poetry needs work! :) some that don't think theirs does could take lessons... :)


On Saturday June 9th, 2007, GreyDividing (196) writes:
This was a cold hard shock of reality. You don't mince words, do you? Well done, dear. Welcome to DP.


On Thursday June 7th, 2007, Dancing_Monkey (1822) writes:
Yeah yeah yeah. :P we have seen it all here. But this is a fresh breeze of air. Glad you are here to share your words with us


On Wednesday May 30th, 2007, SalemLex (44) writes:
hands down my favorite part is the ending line. dont know if you mean how i'm taking it but i think this is great anyway


On Tuesday May 29th, 2007, Quackers (31) writes:
Can't say I have experienced this but I have had some stuff come quite damn close. Keep it up and give us more.


On Monday May 28th, 2007, Grim_Sorrow (87) writes:
The premise is good, and it starts off quite well but it seems to lose its rhythm abruptly towards the end, if you could only smooth the transition,just my opinion, but all in all I'd say you have great potential and I look forward to future works.


On Tuesday May 29th, 2007, Rhys Ki (118) writes:
Thank you, Grim. I know I need to work on my poetry. I hope to finish a short story I am writing soon. Do read. You are my first friend. Love, Jessica.



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/15905/98889 on Sunday September 07th, 2008 02:08 AM

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