i cant just put the sorrow of our
relationship into a
stream of rhymes

i know i shouldnt be
writing this anyway

but the pain must come out
some way
somehow
i must say how i felt

when we hid from everyone
sneaking
like stinking filthy rats
taking every moment alone
evilly nibbling eachother
sickly
devouring eachothers thoughts
eating away
at all our moral
all of our self control

thinking and wanting love
but feeling something else
something sickly desired
evil and forbidden
that sweet tender taste
of something thats
not supposed to happen

i remember feeling your lips
laying my hands on you
and your hands on me
feeling sick
ugly
and wrong
but
wanting it all the while
hurting when you said
goodbye
so
many
times

you turned to me....
told me it cant work out
we cant hide like this
theres not enough time
and logically
legally
its
wrong

i knew all the while
most the time i didnt want you
didnt want this
but
it was all i had
all the drugs, love, and lust i
could find

the only thing i can say
about my relationship with you
is that im glad
you
didnt take my virginity

that
would have
utterly
broken my heart

and
we
tried to
call that

love.

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