i move through the halls of my mind as the memories echo
                         i try to understand
                           just understand

i hear myself calling out
so many words
so many feelings

and i cant let go long enough
to hear my heart fall
   again
          and again

dropping, hearing my self run
i feel that cold breath
on my shoulder


so i breathe harder
waiting to see something

substantial


something worthwhile

only the last years
whisper on my tender breath
singing softly that
immense redemption
that ive sought these long cold years



when i look to your face all i see is your eyes

that cold green stare,
when you look right through me
and see
every past memory
with disgust,
and look down upon me with
the deepest sorrow under your breath

ive reached down as far as i can to save this.
to look into you purely as your own mind,
to know as much as i ever can that i have found
                      forgiveness


but i know no god
and i know no evil

but does this mean i know no good
i cant make up in my mind
the raucous words that need to be said.
i cant find the serene words that must be spoken

                        so i sit in silence
waiting for the remainder of your thoughts,
so when you stare so lightly
and ask me a simple question
i wont look at you with horror
and contemplate the world




 i dont know what to think about when so many thoughts
                 stalk through my mind like giants
                               smashing stars,
i cant quiet my mind long enough to find the meaning of this.
 
but somewhere someone will understand,
and i will be at peace,
if anything at all will ever make sense
to me again.

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