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"[i see the lies but still trip over them]" by asphyxia

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"Before I fall too deep."

Like it was an option,
something to mull over,
swish-swash
from side to side
of my pretty mouth
with its black jewels
click-clack-clacking
against far-from-white
and perfect pearls
...speaks too much
and speaks too little;
talks in rhymes and
talks to no one
with a vowel or
proper noun:
"Give me the name of
a man who doesn't
lie with perfect ease."
...so full of shit.
One hit wonder. Smack,
crack, pow... right at
my little blue eyes,
my pretty hues,
metal above the left
to remind me I
have strength for
needles and sore souls,
men who expect that
pretty and perfect
and prim and proper
are not an option--
are not a choice.
Mandatory like
monetary devices.

My pockets are shallow
(and empty at that).





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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Wednesday July 18th, 2007, Tonights Decision (167) writes:
this is read with such an easy flow and rythm, very impressive! i may be a bit late, but still, welcome to dp.


On Wednesday May 2nd, 2007, Tania (309) writes:
(no you didnt come over all 'getting' dont worry about it) well this is my favourite write from you.. seriously. i might have even faved this IF i had the available bookmarks... so again.. welcome jolene :)


On Sunday April 29th, 2007, Aunty Depressant (711) writes:
I think if I had the name of that man...I'd keep it to myself, he'd likely be a jem ;P Welcome to DP A:D.


On Sunday April 29th, 2007, evcfenix (15) writes:
neat write! i like how well it flows especially with the sound effects like 'pow' and 'swish swash'. thats quite a toughie to pull off real well. and i like how you twist it into a metaphor at the end.


On Sunday April 29th, 2007, Disassembly Boy (98) writes:
I really enjoyed everything about this. Every word perfect. The ending killed me.. :) Love it.


On Thursday April 19th, 2007, unspeakable truth (148) writes:
The title perfection, and so sets the flow. Great write!


On Thursday April 19th, 2007, Nuri (192) writes:
Wow,this was very rhythmic. "Like it was an option, something to mull over, swish-swash from side to side of my pretty mouth with its black jewels click-clack-clacking against far-from-white" Very clever indeed. Pretty. Welcome to DP.I'll be watching


On Thursday April 19th, 2007, asphyxia (77) writes:
Aww thank you everyone! I'm new to this and am very shy about sharing my work with others who have been around for a while and have much more experience!


On Thursday April 19th, 2007, prettydisgrace (142) writes:
wow.. Seriously enjoyed this.. a well deserved welcome to dp jolene! (we share the same name Im a joleen)


On Thursday April 19th, 2007, Mab (1021) writes:
amazing stuff! I love your use of onomatopoeia in this.. welcome!


On Thursday April 19th, 2007, purr_verse (1437) writes:
Very impressive stuff; love the conclusion especially. Insightful and originally expressed; manywelcomes to dp. :)


On Thursday April 19th, 2007, carlosjackal (1653) writes:
Jolene, this was magnificent! A fantastic cascade that has me looking forward to more of your works. Welcome To The Madness Of DP!! -Carl


On Thursday April 19th, 2007, dying angel (1343) writes:
i really liked the ease in which this flows. the title fits so perfectly and is an eye catcher. i loved the whole thing about men being able to lie with ease. welcome to dp



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/15604/97271 on Friday September 05th, 2008 01:48 PM

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