Most of my adult life I've been torn into two
If you love me, then I love you and this is for you
It's tight hard when you know what you said
And my teared eyes see you as an emotional wreck
The closer I get, it's like the farther I feel
And my heart has turned into this heavy armor and steel
It's hard to be real, hard to listen to the dumb shit
And I take a lot of pills cause it numbs shit
I wish I had another path to follow
Wish that I could be a man and learn to pass the bottle
A graphic novel, my future a box or an urn
Having dreams about death, but I'm not that concerned
And I'm diseased, through the seasons they turn
Watching leaves from the trees turn disease and they burn
I'm eager to learn, but I'm holding my breath
And everyday alive is just another closer to death

I've been alive longer then I expected to be
And took care of everything that's expected of me
I handle shit differently because I'm grown now
And the truth is that I'd almost rather be alone now
I'd rather not have to deal with the day
And I hate when people ask me how I'm feelin' today
I'm thoughtful and kind, but I'm evil alas
But everything I love has turned to a tedious task
I feel that lifes a waiting game for people to pass
But nobody ever wants you to see through there mask


I don't wanna be a burden to you
I just wanna know exactly what my purpose is for
I feel like nothing I do is ever right
And that I'm acting a fool destroying another night
And I admit, I don't take care of myself
I do a lot of thinking and preparing myself
I'm trying to get this madmans heart to come out for you
And if the shit isnt working out and I'm suddenly gone
Just remember that you were always the one that was strong.

If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others