I sit back with a smile
like I always do
crying is a sign of weakness
bleeding a sign of strength I suppose

Would knowing why make a difference?
All the times I cheated death
why was my life spared?
So many others most likely more deserving.
Will I be judged if I smile and not frown?

What kind of twisted place is this?
 I carry my guilt with me everywhere I go
Time wasted. So much wasted
nightmares become reality
Im still smiling
not knowing what should make feel or how to feel it
it all comes with a punishment
nothing now but smirks and blank stares

I want to forget what diappointed eyes look
and what I look like
cant even express myself the same any more
blocked by sadness and my overwheming cricism of self

 
Why are there people that can wake up in the morning and hear the birds chirp as they thank the creator for another day
 and walk out the door and they take on the world ... with a smile

I dont get it

Could that have been me?

Did I miss something?



Sometimes all I want is to be left the fuck alone




                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

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