DarkPoetry -|- Tania -|- A Screaming sea-gull.. she cries.. she cries

A Screaming sea-gull.. she cries.. she cries

I fell in love at harbour bay…
Where broken grey skies wavered over all day..
the Sea-weed speckled shore line caught my eye
As the up-heaving ocean came to rise
Our crumbling footsteps they slowly died..
A screaming sea-gull she cried ..she cried

A String of bobbing buoys lay dead at sea
Chained to the seabed.. Swaying helplessly..
As I looked to the jagged cliffs that lay in the near
My lover in hand led me to the abandoned pier
As each wave crashed.. the next it died
A screaming sea-gull she cried… she cried

Surrounded by rocks that lay so corrupt
Eternally tormented by the oceans lust
a cool salty breeze cast herself into a gust
like an alluring mist throwing her cuss
And as I looked into my lovers eyes..
A screaming sea-gull she cried.. She cried

I fell in love at harbour bay..
Where broken grey skies wavered over all day..
And as I head down to the shore line once more
With only these salt wounds left to adore,
I look to the ocean and how livid she lies..
As a screaming sea-gull she cries.. she cries..

*Im unsure as to wether i like this or not..so any feedback OR criticism is Welcome*
Thank you!

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Comments on A Screaming sea-gull.. she cries.. she cries

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On Monday March 19th, 2007, Disassembly Boy (101) writes:

this was beautifully sad.

On Tuesday March 13th, 2007, Bakkhus Unbound (1119) writes:

"With only these salt wounds left to adore" This has a lovely emotive feel, and it flows as the grey oceans or those "screaming sea-gull"s you describe. It is lyrical, vivid & quite lovely (I luv the repetitions within). Well done.

On Tuesday March 6th, 2007, RepulsiveAttraction (112) writes:

I'm no critic but I definately enjoyed this, it had a great rhythm to it and the bitter sweet emotion is what I look for in poetry, nicely done

On Tuesday March 6th, 2007, Tania (318) writes:

Thank you jack.. i hate this poem but thanks for that :)

On Thursday February 22nd, 2007, LOKI (276) writes:

I liked it.The imagery with the ocean.The passion for your lover.This was an amazing write.Im faving it.

On Saturday February 24th, 2007, Tania (318) writes:

On Thursday February 22nd, 2007, prettydisgrace (144) writes:

i thought it was great too.. you got mail :)

On Wednesday February 21st, 2007, Freebird (685) writes:

I thought it was great. Don't be so hard on yourself

On Wednesday February 21st, 2007, silent circus (400) writes:

wow, thats real good...........nice~*dani*~

On Wednesday February 21st, 2007, Mylissa (1130) writes:

I absolutely love this. I think the flow, the style, and the words are wonderful.

On Wednesday February 21st, 2007, Bella Butchery (1171) writes:

i love posts about oceans/ocean settings, doesnt matter what emotions they envoke, it always seems to make them float in an endless current, bravo kiddo!

On Wednesday February 21st, 2007, TwilightMelodies (1093) writes:

I love the sea-gull imagery...actually, I love ALL the imagery, but "as a screaming sea-gull she cries..she cries.." hits something deep within me. Excellent piece. ~*Beth*~

On Wednesday February 21st, 2007, Lab Rat (330) writes:

well, even if you're undecided, I enjoyed it. The flow worked for me, as did your rythm... good write

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