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"cosmic ditty (how i get the girls)" by jack paper

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the scene: a bar, or anyplace a boy meets girl

(me: let me see if i can impress her)
(her: oh god, not another one)
(me: here goes... clears throat)

somehow
in the cosmic mix
in the heavens
your star was fixed

(me: i bet she's diggin this)
(her: ~yawn~)

brightly
shone its light
for me

(me: good, good)
(her: is he gonna
buy me a beer?)

constant

radiant

could it be?

(her: blinks)

the star was put there
just to see?

(me: i think i'm in)

you
are my light
my shining star

(her: trite)

you
becon to me
from afar

(her: passe
are you from hallmark?)

when i first saw
the light i knew

(me: she's hooked)

strong and perfect
bright and true

(me: she's mine!)

could only come
from such
as you

(me: score!)

(her: bleh)

wait baby! come back!
i'll do one about your tatoos!
(me: hmmm, what rhymes with "brutus"?)






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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Tuesday July 17th, 2007, Unforgotten (155) writes:
Ha! this was very funny. And too true. Man I wish pick up lines worked..


On Friday July 13th, 2007, Sharon Rose (658) writes:
heh. That was sheer brilliance. Absolute comedic truth.


On Thursday March 8th, 2007, Mab (997) writes:
uhhh..ludus?


On Tuesday March 6th, 2007, RepulsiveAttraction (109) writes:
HAHAHA that was excellent. The poem inside the poem was corny as hell which made the internal comments that much more entertaining. genius.


On Tuesday March 6th, 2007, Zen (626) writes:
hah, thats cute


On Tuesday February 13th, 2007, torn_beauty (103) writes:
ha! that was great! made me laugh at the end. im think i need to fav this!


On Friday February 2nd, 2007, TropicalSnowstorm (751) writes:
Hell yeah! Love this one! Ciao, T/S


On Friday February 2nd, 2007, Bella Butchery (1140) writes:
ahhhhh the girls with the tatoos... i too have a weak spot for those my brother. supreme


On Wednesday January 31st, 2007, Tania (304) writes:
comical...very good!


On Tuesday January 30th, 2007, BeautifullyRuined (145) writes:
That is so adorable.I like it.


On Tuesday January 30th, 2007, Astra Dei (644) writes:
this was cute.


On Tuesday January 30th, 2007, Sin (1639) writes:
lol this made me giggle...next time try..hey baby, nice shoes wanna fuck?


On Wednesday January 31st, 2007, jack paper (207) writes:
rofl.. nice shoes...does that work?


On Thursday February 1st, 2007, Sin (1639) writes:
yes lol..and if nothing else it makes them laugh ;)


On Tuesday January 30th, 2007, Mylissa (1075) writes:
Oh my gosh...this is brilliant. I love it. there is such a comedic approach to this, yet oh so true. Great job.


On Tuesday January 30th, 2007, Mylissa (1075) writes:
and yes I really said "oh my gosh" lol. Sheesh I am such a nerd at times. ;)


On Thursday February 15th, 2007, jack paper (207) writes:
sheesh! you've revealed your true self! o my gosh! lol



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