I wander down this lonely road once more. No one to pull over and yell at me to get in the car. Kept company only by my own thoughts and daydreams, occasionally I scuff my toe in the dirt, kicking up pebbles.

How I've gotten to this point once again I don't understand. What I have to give, who I am, these things aren't needed in this world. I'm missing some important quality yet I don't know what it is. I'm sweet and kind and articulate. All of those have been thrown in my face before though, so that's not it.

Always we're serching for love. Atleast for humans we call it love. Truly it's a mate and in the animal kingdom that can mean so many different things. Survival and procreation are the 2 main reasons, followed by companionship and emotions. If we were driven to mate purely for survival purposes we would have no soul.

So I guess through that analyzation our emotions are what make us human. Then how do you explain the person without the capacity to love. Either themself or another. I've met many of those types. What are they here for, or are they just more on an animal level? Why do we still love them although the emotions aren't a two way street? What gene in our body is driven to nurture that old soul, help them see the light. When all we do is hurt ourselves in return. For they are the unsavables. Without the want for help, none should be offered.

After all that emotional drivel has run through my head I make a decision. No longer will I look. If I am worthy then it will find me. I don't know how to turn off the loneliness or self depravations. But I do know how to sit here and do nothing and wait for my life to happen. But when said in plain words, that doesn't seem like a sound decision either now does it.

How do I get off this one way road onto one where I can travel both directions? Knowing I love myself and my gods, my moon and stars, the skies above me, I deserve better. Just those thoughts send me whirling deeper into the mire which I am stuck. Once I thought I had nothing left to give. The discovery that my life is a bottomless well is daunting, no longer can I think about the bottom. It doesn't exist.

I know once my body is gone the energy of my soul will be one of trillions that keep our world turning. The fire in my eyes is still burning. It can't be extuinguished no matter how deep the pain or how shallow the hate.

Glancing over my shoulder I see that there are broken lines down the middle of my road. Turning around I decide to head back the other direction. Images on the horizon draw me out and a little smile plays qat the corners of my mouth.

If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others