There's a dinosaur loose in Hollywood.
A giant, lumbering Brontosaurus.
He's stomping his way down well manicured streets,
causing earthquakes measuring 4.3 on the Richter scale.
(That's nothing to a well seasoned Californian)

He's squishing Pomeranians and miniature Chihuahuas between
his massive toes,
their diamond studded collars embedding in his toenails.
I doubt Paris Hilton would think "that's hot".

Feeling a bit peckish,
he begins to nibble at the $25,000 palm trees one neighbor
recently purchased.
Soon all 4 of them stand like headless soldiers in a row.

As he ambles his way down the streets,
he accidentally catches a car beneath his feet.
He squishes it,
ruining the $100,000 limited edition Mercedes Benz,
the $30,000 Rolex, the $3500 Armani suit,
and the talent agent driving the vehicle.
(Do you really want to know how much I think he's worth?)
At least the talent agent's girlfriend will miss him.
I mean, like, now she's going to have to pay for those
Double D's herself, you know.

Feeling his breakfast not agreeing with him,
the Brontosaurus spies a golf course.
When he gets there,
he squats down over the 9th hole,
and takes a dump the size of a Humvee.
(Yes, I compared a Humvee to crap on purpose!)
"Well I never", sniffs a rich, elderly gentleman,
looking down his nose at the beast.
(As if a dinosaur defecating on the 9th hole isn't
something out of the ordinary)
Later when he gets back to his 23 room mansion,
(he's a confirmed bachelor),
he'll look down that same nose at his Mexican maid,
Chinese gardner, and African-American chauffeur.

I'm thinking maybe this behemoth is going to destroy the
whole city, but alas, no.

He makes his way downtown,
leaving cracks down Sunset Boulevard in his wake.
And of all places for him to end up,
he crashes through a fence,
right into the La Brea Tar Pits.
(Now, there's some strange humor for you,
huge tar pits in the middle of Los Angeles)

As the poor beast sinks to his death,
the paparazzi stop chasing poor ole Britny Spears around
long enough to snap a few photos.
The Brontosaurus death throes are a huge hit-
(The National Inquirer won't get sued over this one).

And our sweet, gentle dinosaur?
Well, eventually the pits spit up his bones,
and they pieced him back together at the tar pit museum.
And those of us who around back then can say,
"Remember when that dinosar was loose in Hollywood....."

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