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"Shroud of Darkness" by darth ren

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Sitting in the silence of this sleepless winter night
Darkness like a sheet conceals me from the light.
Helplessly I watch as it seeps into my veins
All of me the Darkness now contains.

Lashing out in anger, I tear away my flesh
Drowning in my blood, compulsively I thresh.
All of my emotions held captive by the pain,
Through all of this the Darkness still remains.

In frantic desperation I sacrifice my soul
To drive away the Darkness, my self consuming goal
As consciousness of life slowly drips down the drain
I find internal Darkness still remains

Don’t let yourself be blinded with the light of day,
Night is forth coming, it can’t be kept away.
All life ends with calamitous defeat
A deathly pallor impossible to cheat.

And so let begin this everlasting rein,
For in the end the silhouette of Darkness will remain.




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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Wednesday November 8th, 2006, SilentStalker (1320) writes:
this works pretty well; the long lines sometimes let us lose track of the syllables we're using, but it also gives us the leeway to get away with it a bit easier...


On Wednesday November 8th, 2006, SilentStalker (1320) writes:
...as for the poem, I must say that it kicks its own type of ass, as it appeals to me rather nicely; I also notice your use of language is more than just a few words, which I think is why some of us actual try to rhyme in the first place...


On Wednesday November 8th, 2006, SilentStalker (1320) writes:
*actually* ...all in all, you did rather well with it, and I think some people might get pissed off at me, because I rarely comment on works anymore; ah well, when i find writes that interest me, I comment...


On Wednesday November 8th, 2006, darth ren (40) writes:
well i am honored then


On Tuesday November 7th, 2006, darth ren (40) writes:
i just recently added the third stanza, i felt that it was missing something, like there needed to be more struggle to get the darkness out. thanks for the comments guys


On Tuesday November 7th, 2006, Instant Insanity (745) writes:
Wow, This is an excellent write. I love your flow. Pure Talent. I love your third Stanza . ][ ][


On Tuesday November 7th, 2006, Alanarchy (1692) writes:
"All of me, the darkness now contains" I don't normally like rhyme/structucre as much as I liked this one. Kudos for that. Write on, and welcome to darkpoetry.


On Tuesday November 7th, 2006, wicked flesh (32) writes:
I loved the ending, it made the impact so much harder.



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/14214/89958 on Friday October 10th, 2008 07:23 PM

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