monochrome dreams.

(this is not quite finished....i'm not satisfied with the ending)



And I don’t remember her name when she stood near you
When she wore your skin in the cold blood of December

I only remember the monochrome song of our saturated history
Weaving a disaster
Like vultures tearing apart warm flesh under the desert sun

And I don’t see glory through your eyes
When I look back into her cold steel heart
Just rust and tarnished brass
Bones tangled around stories of fairytales gone wrong


But we’re more sophisticated than that now.

With our nano-machines running programs
Of pure cut language.
Words rolling around on your tongue
Scattering into the cracks of the wooden floor


And I don’t remember her name
When she cut you into tiny pieces with sterling silver cutlery
Her Victorian eyes burning holes through your overcoat
Revealing cold, un-oiled machinery

Do you dream them too?


But I like pretending we’re more sophisticated than that now.

Our technology has become more intricate
Our emotions, more complex

But that raw feeling I get in my gut when your inside her,
Inside me.

That horrible taste in my mouth when her words reach your ears
Makes me crumble

Makes me wish it weren’t too late to be someone else

“I love you” feels hollow when spoken through her poison lips

That haunting memory that I was someone before I was her
Is just out of my peripheral vision
I can almost reach out and touch it in my dreams….

Almost.


Do you dream them too?

• On Tuesday, September 18, 2007, dying angel (1076) wrote:
  
  the twist in this is compelling. felt a bit self-loathing in a way. i, more than anyone, know this. much too well. you're beautiful.
  
  
• A former member wrote: this was so beautiful
  
  
• On Wednesday, August 22, 2007, Bella Butchery (947) wrote:
  
  will come back and post a insightfull comment when the 'this is not quite finished' heading is dropped. to be continued
  
  
• A former member wrote: So awesome. Im glad to see you posting something. You are truly amazing
  
  
• On Sunday, August 19, 2007, Mylissa (1128) wrote:
  
  I personally think it ends with a ache, with the question of pounding thought. It is perfectly done...lovely. I have to say a fav. So wonderfully done!!
  
  
• On Saturday, August 18, 2007, saintedmad (1420) wrote:
  
  the ending is left dangling well. reiterates the slight tilt for this piece. ..an underlying that you arent alone in your swirling, not completely isolated in the paint.. microcosms of memory linked together quietly, incoherently in places is beautiful---
  
  
• On Saturday, August 18, 2007, saintedmad (1420) wrote:
  
  i like the disyncopated feel; just as most dreams are. .and the dreams of us..who we are/were--- someone else's all together, we are not our own i think. ..great to see you post again --ness
  
  
• On Saturday, August 18, 2007, Alanarchy (1487) wrote:
  
  I have to disagree with hatter san on this one. Feels to me like it very well COULD be finished. I loved the way it ends the most. Can't wait to see where it goes when it gets to where your going.
  
  
• On Sunday, August 19, 2007, The Zebra Warrior (2210) wrote:
  
  welllllllllll.....I'm disagreeing with you....I say it captures a dream-esque feel which needs no definitive start or end...so there ya sasquatch hairy lipped goobster...hahaha *runs*
  
  
• On Sunday, August 19, 2007, carlosjackal (1804) wrote:
  
  Ooh! That be fightin' talk!
  
  
• On Saturday, August 18, 2007, Alanarchy (1487) wrote:
  
  My one complaint is that the text is hard to read on a black background. Had to squint a bit.
  
  
• On Saturday, August 18, 2007, verablue (139) wrote:
  
  really? the text is white....at least on my computer it is.
  
  
• On Saturday, August 18, 2007, carlosjackal (1804) wrote:
  
  Your note is white but the poem is in blue. I found it fine to read.
  
  
• On Saturday, August 18, 2007, verablue (139) wrote:
  
  did that fix it? i tried to make it a pale grey, but it didn't show up on my computer so i figured i must have gotten the color code wrong and didn't bother taking it out. perhaps it has something to do with the browser i'm using.
  
  
• On Saturday, August 18, 2007, carlosjackal (1804) wrote:
  
  This stands out without any revisions and flows with great detail and confessional narrative. Thumbs up from me :)
  
  
• On Saturday, August 18, 2007, The Zebra Warrior (2210) wrote:
  
  kinda jumpy...it feels like it starts somewhere in the middle which makes it displaced but interesting because the language is so unusual...it has a dreamy feel matched with human focus...interesting to me, it does feel incomplete though...
  
  
• On Saturday, August 18, 2007, The Zebra Warrior (2210) wrote:
  
  but maybe it works better incomplete....some things do and many things are never complete...blah blah...I ramble