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"My World" by Muses_Love

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my mind wonders
as my world falls apart
i look into the mirror of time
all the beautiful colors fade to grey
i blink...no change
rub my eyes...nothing
i stare into the void of my own reality
a sweet furious grin of boredom in my soul
my job is of no more
spent is my money
all i have is my honey
all this time has passed
as i come to realize
what ive always known
color starts to come back now
she IS my world
colorful and beautiful, peaceful, perfect
she is all i will ever need
when she moves in with me
support her i must
its time now
a once dusty resume is now blown off
used it shall be once more
to give us hope of a better life
applied i am
waiting now
waiting for a call of hope



the begining of this one sounds a lot like the first one i posted i know but i have revised this one from its original just completed a couple hours ago. and on the first one i will probably lose the first three lines to use elsewhere and to keep the beginings of these two from being so alike. please comment on this one opinions and suggestions greatly appreciated good or bad




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On Tuesday September 12th, 2006, Muses_Love (10) writes:
thanks all for the wonderful comments!


On Tuesday September 12th, 2006, Muses_Love (10) writes:
some deep passion? more like more than anyone could ever imagine! guess i just havent gotton used to writting again. then again maybe i lost my tallent over the years. ohwell ive got more important things to worry about i guess, though i do miss it. well


On Sunday September 10th, 2006, The Zebra Warrior (2401) writes:
I have to agree with shards...to plain pal, spice it up, add a bit of fire;fuel the flames...surely Meg is a worhty 'muse'...she must intil some deep passion...


On Sunday September 10th, 2006, The Zebra Warrior (2401) writes:
for me I like my writes a bit more ambiguous or with diction and word choice arrangements that surprise and excite...like someone lost in the moment...a bit 'out there'...you know?


On Sunday September 10th, 2006, The Zebra Warrior (2401) writes:
It matters not what the majority think, only what you feel inside and if the emotions come from within and are felt it matters not how...we all can improve and try to better ourselves...welcomes young sir!!!


On Sunday September 10th, 2006, ShardsofSilence (325) writes:
honestly speaking, what you're trying to say is beautiful, but I feel it being drowned out by the lack of emotion in your words? Then again, I'm writing this at a queer hour and my mind is most likely completely off it's rocker, but that's my honest opini


On Sunday September 10th, 2006, Muses_Love (10) writes:
thank you shards. yeah it may be a little dull i feel i havent gotton used to this writing thing again yet. any help u might be able to offer me would be great, thanks.


On Sunday September 10th, 2006, ShardsofSilence (325) writes:
it's just all about trial & error + practice


On Sunday September 10th, 2006, The Zebra Warrior (2401) writes:
yep..it is


On Sunday September 10th, 2006, ShardsofSilence (325) writes:
opinion :)



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