1995



Sub-Level Vampires

Slash those wrists, my pretty sister
Then take the razor and cut the blister
Stop it now, no need to fuss
Savour the taste of seeping blood
Of oozing pus
Fill the chalice and pass it round
We’re all the same in the underground
‘Share and share alike,’ a saying from above
Down here we make a different love
Follow our ways, conform to our rules
Separate yourself from those other fools
Join the creeping shadows
Hear our wandering, whispered proverbs
Through our dark corridors, smelling of raw herbs
We’ll teach you how, change you for the better
Like us, you’ll feel relief and
Taste the blessing of a new belief
But first be naked, relax, don’t fight
Let us taste your flesh, by having just a bite…







dementia aberration

crouching in the darkness
huddled up against my knees
kept in solitary confinement
the government pay the fees

i think i see butterflies
bright butterflies
in a room where it’s only night
with wings of sectioned colours
i’m sure, shining effervescently
out towards my face

a new light shines
through the darkness
through the stillness
it’s the lighthouse i knew as a child
whenever that was

falling clouds of blackness
bring my madness
i clench a fist
full of thistles
so back comes the pain and sadness

psychosis lives like swallows nesting
often coming
never going

i often cry out
though they never listen
or try best not to

my friends
the skinbumps
they were rippling
but now they’ve gone
been replaced
by jagged bleeding cuts
self-inflicted
no other way

goodbye my friend
going to have another bout
of dementia aberration
so you’d better move your presence
just got to let me be







Why Live?

Long time gone
Nothing’s changed
Though what may seem
Actually is not
I’m living in a zone
Off-parallel
To others around it
My mind
Long time lost
Swimming in
Uncertainty and
Insecurity
Never really know
What’s happening around me
Too dazed and confused
To take much notice
Always dejected
Living in a dull cloudy
Sombre grey atmosphere
Too late for help
In it too deep










1997



True Love’s First Death

What do you do,
When you’re living in a rut,
With a girl who you love?
Is the candle just flickering,
Or is it slowly fading?










2000



Polska Eyes

Soulful eyes, so dazzling, so pure
Deep within lies a hell you endure
Unaware, transfixed
I’m too far mesmerised
To see the pain behind the eyes
I know if I see you
I might fall in love
If I tried to be you
I might still never understand
For if I find your diamond
Will I learn you true?
My heart, it shatters
Pieces for you










2002



Hyperflirting

hyperflirting
shimmer eyes
surreal touching
flicker-eyed
colours swift
open bliss
black holes
swirl
shift
the light lifts
touching
without touching
hyperflirting







Lupus

Lupus curled tighter and stole my mother away
I’ve always tried hard to forget that day
In hospital the tears ran down the walls
Crying through those lonely white corridors
The pain of loss nearly killed my soul
Inside the cruel fuck almost broke me whole
And the look in my father’s eyes
As he told me the news

Our shattered minds
Our ripped hearts
My father’s eyes

All we could do was sit and cry

Concerned so much for what my father was going through
I had to stay strong just to get him through
But five years on I’m stronger still
Picked up those pieces and did my best to run
And though the memory still burns on
I struggled and learnt and fought hard to get on
With my life
For my father’s sake
But more for my own
If he’d lost me too
It would have killed him
And I’d never have lived with myself on the other side







This Illusion

Stuck to the bloodied feathers
of a heartless girl’s endeavours
switchblade nails into my skin
have severed
a girl with
a black bloodlust salivating
within a dark heart
yearning










2003



Just A Kid

Just a kid
Taking verbal abuse
From a tosser at 33
Just a kid
Taking verbal abuse
From a retail loser
Just a kid at 16
Taking verbal abuse
From a tit at 33
bald,
fat,
middle class
The macho twat takes it up the arse
If I were her, I’d twat the cunt
But that’s just me
High on anger and poetic justice







A moment of love

Our fluid gaze
Our reflections in our eyes
Feeling in colour
What we knew in our minds
Soft green gaze
Into diamond blue
Her gentle stare
Beautiful care
The warmth of light and day

If I was to die, this moment would be heaven
If then to return to her would be a greater heaven







English-Russian Lioness

She’s high
                 on english wordage
with a sexy russian dealage
a hidden emotional core
she won’t take a bore
piss her off
if you fancy being torn
by an English-Russian lioness







The Mirror Crack’d

The day your conscience died
The day your eyes turned pale blue
pale blue
was the day
I lost you

No sense of loss
No sense of gain
No sense of death
No sense of pain

I held your hand
I studied your face
The woman I loved
Had lost her place







Orphelia Liberty

Into vision sight regained
Intuition fails insane







Water & Nicotine

The magic of maths has faded
and science lives me confused
lost in isolation records
beautiful words
beautiful sounds
soothe the pain
to relax the brain
beautiful music
tragic syllables
a warning to those
with whom love plays fools
love turned to sadness
twisted ‘til insane
i sit and i lean
relying on water and nicotine







Purple Blues

Orchid trip
Poppy dawn
Come-down city
Lonely pawn
Belligerence just
Killer soul
Compensate love
To fill the hole







Song

Feel the notes
Match it to the sound
Evocative
Of what you want
Mind your timing
To keep the voice
Lipkiss delicate

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