DarkPoetry -|- carlosjackal -|- And What Is It, To See Your Baby Die?

And What Is It, To See Your Baby Die?

Microcosmic monsoon
Hanging
by a tear-duct
Pyrotechnic hurricane
Spitting retinas
into dust
This dream of youth
Has grown cold
into reality

This home has developed
into relationship hell
A house dripping cum and sweat
from every red brick
Might sound heaven
If it didn’t smell
Like crying desperation

Translucent spots
On walls of black
Caging fingertips
All so hollow

A sync-split so simple
If it wasn’t
For innocent smiles
breaking
Two guilty hearts

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Comments on And What Is It, To See Your Baby Die?

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On Saturday March 1st, 2008, Kui (730) writes:

My heart just broke.

On Saturday February 23rd, 2008, tangeled (507) writes:

yep. this is whats it like to lose a child. i have a similar piece called 'bleed for the angels'. sorry for your loss. i completely understand as my eyes have seen the same pain and my heart has yearned for thier return. heartbreakingly nice write.

On Sunday February 24th, 2008, carlosjackal (1699) writes:

Hey, really sorry to hear you've had to go through that experience. In truth, I'm blessed in that I actually haven't had to go through the experience myself and never looked at this piece from that angle(despite the title.) Many thanks for the comment =) -Carl

On Sunday February 24th, 2008, tangeled (507) writes:

so lucky you are. great write considering especially that you haven't experienced this. it is nothing that anyone could ever imagine, yet you captured it perfectly. thank you.

On Saturday February 23rd, 2008, Alanarchy (1681) writes:

That last section is all about what a good poem should do. I couldn't imagine, before I read it, because I've never felt it. And as quick as that, it's a plain as day. I mean it when I say that you, and folk like you are the reason why I love to share my art, and theirs. If it wasn't for this sort of thing, I would just keep it all to myself. Thanks man. "Microcosmic Monsoon." Paradoxogasm :) sharp as tack.

On Sunday February 24th, 2008, carlosjackal (1699) writes:

*tips hat and bows head*

On Wednesday May 30th, 2007, openureyes (72) writes:

Wow...Heartbreaking but beautiful. well done :)

On Thursday May 24th, 2007, verablue (159) writes:

every word is perfectly placed. beautiful.

On Wednesday May 23rd, 2007, dying angel (1328) writes:

oh damn. that final stanza...god you completely shattered me with this. just...damn.

On Monday May 21st, 2007, capt_funguy (993) writes:

this ripped my heart out. i am sorry that you know what this feels like, that you have had to look at things this way ... incredible piece of work here ... oh, to be a kid again, huh? .. funguy

On Sunday May 20th, 2007, unspeakable truth (146) writes:

This is...I don't even know, but it is running in my head all to vividly. Disturbing, yes, no....it is perfect. Loved this! You write extremely well.

On Sunday May 20th, 2007, jack paper (207) writes:

crusher!

On Sunday May 20th, 2007, Freebird (642) writes:

fucking awesome

On Sunday May 20th, 2007, The Zebra Warrior (2409) writes:

this is a fuckin wicked poem....you would be a Chelsea fan too :P....pillock!! Disturbingly beautiful/warped wondrosity....lovin it

On Sunday May 20th, 2007, Sharon Rose (663) writes:

Fuck.

On Thursday June 14th, 2007, Sharon Rose (663) writes:

Realize, I know how unworthy this comment is, but it's all I could think at the time. I was floored. Still am every time I read it. It's just a pure, simple...well, fuck...

On Sunday June 17th, 2007, carlosjackal (1699) writes:

Bloody DP didn't alert me to your follow up comment! Nah, I knew exactly what was meant by that comment and I loved it =) Not least cos it lead to you faving it. Muchos gracias :) -Carl

On Sunday May 20th, 2007, Mab (999) writes:

oh..my..you just ripped out my heart and smooshed it on the floor."by a tear-duct Pyrotechnic hurricane Spitting retinas into dust " your words are on fire, singeing the morning cobwebs from my brain..."faves" ~Meg

On Sunday May 20th, 2007, The Zebra Warrior (2409) writes:

fuckin anti-art post Dada spirit....this is one of the best pieces I've read from your fingertips...fuck's my head up good and proper...warping colours, suffocating conventions and imaginative outbursts....yeah man - this is the shit!

On Sunday May 20th, 2007, The Zebra Warrior (2409) writes:

can't fav but does fav.....fav

On Sunday May 20th, 2007, The Zebra Warrior (2409) writes:

second stanza is redbrick hell made hot by sweat and cum obituary language, the death of living....painted excrement on the unblanced walls...

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