Spitter spatter, party platter
Bubbles in the bowels below
My guts are churning with painful contortions
My anus is ready to blow

I'm stuck at this party
I'm trapped in this room
I can't find the shitter
It means certain doom
 
A girl to the left
A babe to the right
If i find a toilet
I'll be shittin all night

My stomach is upset
My rectum is churning
People look cock-eyed
As my butt cheeks are burning
 
What the fuck do I do?
I don’t dare move an inch.
If I un-flex my ass cheeks
Ill crap up my ginch
 
But I have to release it
And I can’t do it here
My bladder has filled up
From all of this beer
 
So I push to the bathroom
And butt first in line
Some people were bitter
But let people whine
 
My ass is on fire,
they don’t understand
I knocked on the door
Three hard times and
 

What to do now?
I don't stand a chance!
My girlfriend aproaches
And asks for a dance

'Maybe tomorrow'
I say with unease
But then without warning
My cheeks cut the cheese

There's no turning back
I can't stop it now
The shitter is vacant
My ass plops with a POW

Loud farts erupt from me
It's comming like rain
Damn those jalapenos!
They're causing great pain

I grasp on the toilet
I brace for impact
I try to flush it
But it goes click clack

'The shitter is broken!?'
I think in great haste
What do I do
With all of this waste!?

The window wont open
The bathtub wont do
I tried in the sink
But I clogged it with poo

I started to panic
And circle afraid
Looking at all of the
Shit I had made

I GOT IT I shouted
And picked up my crap
And smeared on the ceiling
A pungent brown cap

I washed off my hands,
Elbows, and face
And casually left all my
Shit there in place

Its about goddamn time
Said the man last in line
He budged his way forward
he stood six foot nine

move it you fuckers
your about to be struck
He slammed the door hard
And I heard HOLY FUCK…..

If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others