im so sorry-

::i dont want to pretend anymore::

-that you dont rip the delicate wings,
from the butterlies that drift;
silently screaming---
pounding compulsion through my crimson valves with constriction/

[but then again-
no one asked you
if i could want you-
now did they?]

so what rights do i have-
to silently plead for the smile in your eyes
to be derived from something i have said.

the words from one mouth-to another
to my bleeding ears-
worn from things i have let penetrate me.

{i too, wish this could be returned}
/however, i know my inner craving-
and have found what complies with my circumstance.

[celibacy][through][silence]

like FuCkInG ecstasy.

like the sweet water to my dehydration-

/i/ dont. /want/ this.

but its mine-and yours-
and i wonder;
how can i mean the world to someone;
if i dont even exist.

like a balance of concrete clouds-
on my shoulders that now carry...
more then the weight of my own world.
but the weight of your words.

>>everything seems to mean so much
when you feel like you mean so little

.stitch-lipped.
and aware of my own thoughts
i will carry my feelings from within my stomach
rather then upon my sleeve.

convulsions consist:

the butterflies are eating away at themselves-
holding themselves down with threats of their own suicide.
------------------------------------------------------
_I didnt know

__What could come
___As i watch it leave-
____Now in remorse--
_____Treacherous contempt.

______You must know this feeling-
_______Opening your heart to closed eyes--
________Unless, you have forgotten what its like.


"have faith in nothing, or youll believe in everything"


....sound familiar?




i wish you didnt know it so well.

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