This day was just a little longer than the last one.
i couldnt seem to make my feet move as fast,
   and my mind refused to stay focused
                  with memories of perfection lingering,
 and longing,
calling at me
and im unable to ignore.
               im just a little broken
                                            and obscured
                            and staggered.
[i want so bad to be your perfection]
(i want so bad to be someones idea)

and im still a little lost in thoughts
scattered and bursting
                                      in staccato and stabbing
beats telling me to get a little lost
          within myself
   but i cant seem to let myself fall.
             i cant lose this image of perfection
                         because it stares at me with woe laden eyes
and i refuse to look away.
     
And even as i attempt
               a minor relief with written therapy,
my rain clouds continue to hover
beating heavily upon my umbrella.
                        and i want so badly to stand in the rain
to drench myself in unspoken words
and desires
           and dreams that could never quite hit my reality.


i wanted to run after you
 and clutch you.
                  but my fears came over me again
and i could never force myself into a free fall....

                                          
 i was always just a little more broken


                                                              underneath.....

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