4-15-08

  and tonight those faded out dreams
get crossed out just like these same old promises
that never left me wanting to pray another
prayer all because for these last few years
of my life my heart's been doing nothing but;
dying a little bit more along the way
and I'm so damn tired because
the Sun never shows its glowing smile
to me anymore.

  these days don't mean much to me anymore
as nothing but darkness presses against
my dreams confusing them to be more and
more confused than I ever anticipated;
it wasn't like I asked God to hold my hand
and to put all of the grains of sands back into the
hour glass again as every time I wished for
a Miracle to come true where dreams fell silent;
I wondered if a prayer would almost care if
I cried myself to sleep one more time?

  these feeling of being so alone
can't be normal to anyone else except for me
as this life I've tried to make my own
has taken its toll and now its
finding itself a little bit harder to
hold on to something other than drinking
my pain away over and over again
and I'm oh so sorry just because
it left me out of touch with you.

  I do wish that I could find a
prayer one day that would set me free
from all of my hurt and pain that only
left me feeling like I was bleeding
from the inside out and even though I know
that might not ever happen for me I still
continue to stare back at those fallen stars
turning themselves into a butterfly kiss
that I swore missed my cheeks by just
a glimpse of another imperfection.

  I wondered where my flame disappeared to
just because these days of me holding
on to a Faith come true left me
just like my Angels who also gave up on me
such a long time ago; and now it's like
I'm standing here still waiting for the Sun
to come back up smiling and saying something like,
"I still love you."

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