12-25-07

  I wished it all away;
the pain and the loneliness that
left me lost in the shadows;
I expected god to show me a smile of mercy;
but lately nothing seemed to forgive me
as my knees kept aching from the cold air
that caused the clouds to bleed;
I asked you another question
that didn't even make sense to me.

  "Society has no buisness with
someone like me." you once told me in a dream;
as the axe drifted from my hand's to my heart
I could only smile that laughter that waited
for me in the distance tonight;
and even though I accepted my fate
of a tragedy foretold; I could have swore that
god whispered another prayer for me.

  I guess I was wrong again as life seemed
to crumble down in my hand's;
folding everything forward in pretense
as sacrifices became a blur;
sincerity almost grabbed my hand that left me
desperatly waiting; waiting for
the candles to burn into flames.

  I faked the smiles that
scorched the skies as I tried to become pretty
in your eyes; but as I crossed my fingers
my wishes drew up blank into the
emptiness that dripped back; back; back
into the jagged knife that continued to scream;
scream deep into the bliss of the darkness
that just continued to stare back at me.

  tired so tired I wished the muses
would stay clear of me and I didn't care
that the yellow sunsets turned into different colors
that broke the silence of a heart dripping
back into nothing special for me;
and I asked you another question that left everyone speehless.

  I tried to draw in between the lines that
questioned a death committed suicide;
but lately it's like no one cares and
I began to laugh once again because
I pressed the pause button that
never existed for me to stop
bleeding out of my eyes.

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