10-30-07

  the mouth was dry;
dryer than ever before;
I tried to tie off the blood clots
that forced me to bleed
to my own death tonight;
but the moon turned into Cancer
calling a silence to kiss
a rainbow complete
that desired me to lust her completely
until she faded into the night.

  a box drew colors into
the lines that got over drawn;
and I smiled;
because I could never stay inside the lines
that forced control
to stay bold of a refuge
turned into a silence unknown.

  just like everything else
I forced myself to feel welcome;
but even in a room full of people I knew
I felt overwhelmed; almost lost
as the chatter was meaningless to me
I committed myself to the Alcohol
to try to drown out the noise.

  the books lay unread on the book cases that
were shoved with dust upon every page;
I almost grabbed the wrong one
as it recommended me
a king for a savior forgotten;
I began to laugh because my
entire life I was forced to believe a lie.

  gripping me so tight
the sun glowed as it showed
me a glimpse of a false reflection;
I begged, no I cried,
no I tried to forget that the
Alcohol just makes me
capable of living life for the moment come true.

  the ending comes full circle now;
as I put myself in harms way
even with the Cyanide closing in on me;
I crossed out the last
wishes of my will to live;
only because life has been
cruel to someone like me.

  and now nothing but silence
cures my loneliness of a forever lasting
calling me back into the
sun that got mad at me today
because I wished my last wish
that said goodbye to me forever.

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