as I sit here of late
slowly drifting off to sleep
I wander through the doors
to each of the worlds I live

I can't decide which one
I'll stay in tonight
because they all confuse me so
and honestly I am afraid

My demons live within,
not the ones of fire or flame
but of guilt, jealousy,
and severe insecurities

They come to me as visions
slapping me in the face
consuming every thought
and every dream of any escape

I live in fear for and of myself
not only in reality
but in my fantasies that
are real for that is where I live

My life, I believe, will stay
the same for all of time
since my demons have
implanted their spawn upon my mind

Each day it all grows worse
like a conspiracy of emotions
turmoiling and churning with
the help of anxious anxieties

I know it won't make sense
to the others in my life
or to anyone, for that matter
because they only know themselves

It's all just like a puzzle
that fits imperfectly into place
like a jigsaw gone all wrong
with hidden pieces of existence

Will I ever grasp the answers
to the questions I ask myself?
Or the riddles presented to
my ever-thinking mind?

But my problem is just this,
all the sides fighting inside me.
Screaming with the answers
yet twisting the ones I need.

Don't tell me that I'm crazy
because of course I already know.
I don't know where I'm going,
or when we'll meet again.

Do you know of whom I speak?
No you don't, of that I'm sure.
It's not you, I'll tell you that.
Look through my eyes and learn.

That's only if you're ready
to be taught the truth I know
Enter into my domain, how much
are you willing to intake?





Written April 25, 2006- 12-1:00 am

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