I lie in the silent recesses of my mind.
Staring blankly at little to nothing at all.
I'm so exhausted my body can't lie still.
I'm so tired I can't move. Stuck between
a reality I can't quite comprehend as the
world passes me by. My eye's close and
I find myself falling. Falling far from everything
that matters inside. The darkness is slowly
coming towards me.

Rocking me away to the deeper parts of my
mind. As I remember happiness, joy, romance.
Love. Most importantly love and my heart
skips beats. I'm not much of a poet these days.
My ink has run dry, and the paper has become so
brittle it breaks with each touch. I can't find the
words that are mingled in my skull. Following me
in a game of hide and seek. Time seems to slow.
As my footsteps grow silent.

Not a leaf on the ground, not a howl of the wind.
Just silence. So deadly I hear my heart pound with
enthusiasm. I am afraid. That I won't have the words.
The outspoken feeling anymore. That this woman,
doesn't know how to say I love you anymore. I'm
losing each bit of my humanity; curling up in a ball.
Not socializing with the people who wear masks.
The masks that make them up that they improved
and tweaked.

They are ghosts floating around me, dancing to the tune
of death. Soon, they will die. They will fade. Not
knowing half of the beautiful things in life. I am alone.
In this wide expanse of the world. Staring at each face.
Trying to find a speck of humanity. Life has become
a meaningless routine. And, they are just mindless zombies
sucking the emotions off my skin. Taring me apart with
each glance of there speckled red eyes. I am paranoid.
Of the whispering I hear behind that mask.

That is strapped, glued, stuck endlessly sleepless.
I lie in wait. Impatiently rigidly for the one who soothes
my soul. For my mate. Stressing and panicking at each
turn and thought as I become immersed in rushed need.
My rib feels cracked as I try to breathe in. It feels constrained
as I suck life through these battered lungs. My hands stretch
out and I feel the air pass through them.

Ever so silent it grows. As I try and think of words I could tell.
Love that I could sprawl out. But, my mind becomes smoked.
Estatic as I lay restlessly. The ghosts closing in on me.
Suffocating each pure and innocent thought that sprouts to my
mind. I lie alone. So alone. I wish to become numb to the
sounds in my head. I wish to become numb to the rattling under
my skin. Manically I run my fingers through my hair. Focusing
my eyes on reality.

Trying to bring the world back into focus. But, it moves.
Faster and faster around making my head spin. Making
my breaths rattle faster and in spurts as I try to grasp for
air. But, I feel the pollution clouding my lungs, clouding
my senses and I whine. So loud my mouth doesn't open.
So coarsely my lungs bleed I'm not drowning. I feel wanton.
Entangled in a labyrinth that I'm lost in, but only I can devise
the escape. I lay here. Cold.

Empty of all emotion.
Trying to resurface the feeling of love.
Not the mere memory. But, my heart beating.
My soul pounding. I try to resurface normality.
My broken hands cover my face and tears well up.
Pouring down in rivulets. I cry the ocean building up
inside me.

I feel so estranged, so out-casted. So lost.
Within my own devises. I lie in this dark. Lonely.
Empty. Cold.

Counting my breaths as I refrain from ripping into my
skin to find the humanity that must be buried. I whisper
I love you to his face in my mind. I don't want to become
a ghost too.

Fading in and out.
Manically, slowly becoming an empty silhouette.
That closes in on emptiness and sucks the
emotions from each person.

I wish to feel.
Anything.

Anything you could grant.
But, I no longer wish to feel empty.
No longer do I wish to be a ghost.
Revive me.

Please.

I must be dreaming awake.

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