Hello; my old friend.
I've come to this place again.
It seems I frequent here hoping you
will hear my thoughts. Lately, I can't
seem to keep a smile, I know the reason
why. I know if I don't, I'll make him
sad. Then, we might not talk at all.
I fear that maybe, there will be no future.
But, I'll keep fighting until nothing is left.

Somedays I just need to be held,
Somedays I just need his smile.
It all seems like it's crumbling,
And I can't seem to understand why.
You're the only one who listens,
without saying a word. Without
judging or really much comfort
besides the warm drops falling from
your spout.

I lay up at night sometimes and feel like
I'm going to cry, but the tears never fall.
Not once, not a little they just sit there
waiting for my decision. The other day
I felt like a failure so much I just drowned.
I couldn't find the surface; I couldn't find
air in my lungs.

Hello; dear friend.
Only your voice comes through.
I know I should be happy.
But, right now I just can't.
I feel your hot embrace, drip-drop-drip.
I lean my cheek against the shower wall.
Drop-drip-drop.

My sadness seems to fall down the drain.
I still can't cry. But, I sit here wondering.
Does he forgive me every time? I want to
let the tears devour me, but I'm afraid my
soul will go with. It felt so weird for him to
say it was okay, I wanted to look at him and
question it left and right.

I felt so bad; so awful.
Like we were further apart.
Drip-Drip-Drip.
You sound so far away.
Just like him.

I hear his voice, but sometimes I just need
more than that. I want to lay with him and
dream. For him to tell me all about pretty
things. I want it so bad, I feel like I'm drowning.
I feel like I'm losing every battle that I fight.
I hope he knows I never meant to start those
fights, never meant to say those words.

Sometimes it just gets too much, sometimes
it hurts. Splat-splat-splat. I listen to you hit
my skin, as you lash out and make me feel
refreshed. That everything will be slightly okay.
But, I know once I leave it won't be enough.
Can I be strong for him?

Can I please just smile and laugh.
Bury my face in his shoulder, and forget
I ever felt pain. Does he know with each
day that I'm trying my hardest. That I'm
breaking and tumbling, just to find that
embrace that will start my heart.
I feel the laughter escape my throat.

I feel the smile shatter my face,
but silently I hear my heart breaking.
I feel so lost; so lost and cold.
Not even your embrace seems to warm
me. Or maybe the hot water is just
draining to become numb.

Dear; friend.

Can I forgive myself for failing once again?
Can I dig down deep inside and find the right
feeling. I feel so depressed; like I'm drowning
nobody there to save me. Or so it seems.
I wish to smile for him.

Drip-drop-drip.
But I'm afraid that fell down the drain;
just like you.

If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others