I didn't know that gnawing pain
still slithered around
down deep in these bowels.

I had no idea
at this age
I'd find desire
so strong
and loud,

as to keep me up at night
and color these waking moments
such that yet again would walk
the teenage clumsy heart
I long ago snuffed out.

Someday I'll be thankful
for the taste
of that glowing ache again
after all these years
and the walls they built,

though I
am not there
yet.

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