in silence and tears...

  looks in the mirror and who do I see
she is sort of familiar
staring back at me
a familiar face
somehow out of place

taking some pills to fill up her soul
and drinking them down
with cheap alcohol

she searches inside herself
a soul seeking a soul
takes the bottle from the shelf
takes in a deep breath


**sighs**....and swallows


a handfull of lies
of broken promises and goodbyes
almost a year to the moment
she flashes back to that day


["you're all I need, all I want to know"]


she can still hear him say
 
then, ...like a trainwreck in her mind
she feels the collision and hears the screams
the voices are familiar, they are her own
and the pain still as fresh as the air she breathes

as she plays it back from beginning to end
tries to recall where it began
out of the blue and every other color too
she never got the girl's name
but knew she had seen her sometime before
how is it she didn't see this coming
how is it she never knew

how long had he lied
how long had she stood there
not feeling time pass her by
standing in the pouring rain
watching them kiss
over and over again
standing there watching herself die
as all she loved aaal she believed in
come to a screaching hault
flashes of her reality...his sin
then the rush of sudden pain
came flooding back to her all over again
trying to distinguish
what were tears, what was rain

she had thought beyond thoughts
she was doing just fine
how many times is it possible
for a person to lose their mind

looks in the mirror once again
closes her eyes and falls to the floor
the only place she ever feels safe
nothing is safe anymore
doesn't hurt as much to fall
when you're already this far down

her only comfort are the cries from inside
when it's your own demons from which you run
there is no place you can hide

huddled into the corner on the bathroom floor
she sits and stares at the reality of her days
and swears it will be no more
but in the back of her mind she knows
tomorrow will be the same
just as she knew of today
before it ever came

does love leave us
or do we leave love
why does it remain and torture us
and haunt our hearts

sits on the bathroom floor......
no one who sees
no one who hears
the silent ........but blood curdling cries
of her silent tears
 

 

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