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"Stoics and Stars, Scars and Scope" by Godot

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Many times she said to me that love and life are tender,
But why should I concede this point or otherwise surrender?
Nor will I assail her more while curs and boors defend her --
The effort, vain, the purpose, lost; I cannot comprehend her.

Many times she made it known that I could never save her,
That petulance and headaches were the sum of what I gave her.
And loathing in this style, sure as steel she would not waver,
Her disposition calloused toward those fallen from her favor.

She slanders goddess Luna when she writes as though she needs him;
Hangs herlself, a garish opal, glows until she bleeds dim;
Gives herself in body to a boy as she misleads him,
Her heart betrothed to someone else whose decadence precedes him

And here I leave those better days in songs and photographs,
As she carves my trifling name into her girlhood epitaphs.
To reduce impassioned trysts to ungainly teenaged gaffes --
A sentiment which one reflects upon, pauses, and then laughs.


*i do not think this piece is finished yet *
*in fact, this is really just a rough draft*



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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Wednesday June 25th, 2008, Echoes of Orpheus (694) writes:
Glad to have stumbled across this piece, well structured. An enjoyable read.


On Wednesday November 1st, 2006, An Expired Member (32) writes:
i love it


On Wednesday July 19th, 2006, your_only_love (163) writes:
I know a boy who would say the same thing about me, if only he could find the words. It is wonderful to read, with attitude & beat.


On Thursday May 11th, 2006, Metal Lullaby (62) writes:
this is wonderful


On Thursday January 5th, 2006, An Expired Member (34) writes:
It's a beautiful rough draft goes nicely. My heart hurts because you've explained me so well. I also agree it is not finished yet, but well done. I love it much much. -Salem


On Thursday November 25th, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (575) writes:
loved the last two stanzas, they completely crowned this write as brilliance. great GREAT work--calamity--


On Thursday November 25th, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (575) writes:
"And here I leave those better days in songs and photographs, As she carves my trifling name into her girlhood epitaphs." I love the complexity of this rhyming poem.. most I read are fairly simple but this was wonderful. Great lines in this.. Loved the


On Saturday October 9th, 2004, Twilight (2084) writes:
this is pretty damn awesome...impeccable and incredible well executed flow. the last stanza ripped me to pieces...i also loved: "Gives herself in body to a boy as she misleads him, Her heart betrothed to someone else whose decadence precedes him "


On Saturday October 9th, 2004, Twilight (2084) writes:
awesome work.


On Tuesday September 14th, 2004, Naked_Faerie (170) writes:
I know, I know...I've commented before but it strikes me everytime I read it. Damn, I just love it. You're such poet!! ~Faerie~


On Saturday June 12th, 2004, icyhott (45) writes:
Not only dose your meaning come accross clearly but you use such beauty in everything you write, weather it be gorish or otherwise it just comes out beautifully. *hott*


On Tuesday December 16th, 2003, purr_verse (1423) writes:
shit, if this is a draft... Phenomenal metre (and I'm very picky about metre - the final line is the only one that pushes it) and rhythm, a rhyme pattern delicious and original. magic. purr


On Friday August 5th, 2005, stormtalk (881) writes:
Couldn't have said it better. Impressively well done.


On Saturday October 25th, 2003, Naked_Faerie (170) writes:
I love the way this poem ends, personally...it really sums up the whole piece. Consider it added to my favorites list. =) ~Faerie~



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/112/2581 on Tuesday December 02nd, 2008 10:34 PM

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