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"Creeping" by veingo

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He crept out in the dark of the night,
in the cold
with the moon
and the stars
shinning bright

And he crept along the road,
and he noticed
his shoes didn't
make any tracks
in the snow.

And he crept through a field,
like a breeze
and heard nothing at all
but the wind
in the trees

And he crept through the gate,
in a yard, in the back of a house
that it seemed
he recalled.

And he thought of his childhood, and how he'd believed
it would all be
much better by now.

When we're young and we're feeling afraid,
we naively believe
that adulthood is safe.

And I saw you creep.

I saw you creep.

And he crept through the yard,
to the door
and he crept on inside,
and did not touch the floor.

And he crept up the stairs, down the hall
all the while wishing,
he'd never been there
at all.

And he crept in the room, where the boy
who'd fell out of his bed
lay asleep
on the floor.

And he put the boy back in his bed.
Pulled his blanket back on.
Placed a kiss
on his head.


And the boy had a dream of a man,
who himself dreamed of being
a child once again.

When we're grown and we're feeling the strain,
it's our youth that we'd give,
anything to reclaim.

And I saw you creep.

I saw you creep.
 




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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Thursday October 25th, 2007, Liz (406) writes:
nice structure. lots going on without wasted words, the repetition is a nice pattern. love how it ends


On Friday August 11th, 2006, An Expired Member (2) writes:
This is trully a poetic writing. It takes you for a ride, but you never even knew it happened until it's over. +FtF+


On Tuesday January 17th, 2006, Ainsof (1838) writes:
so true so true...I've felt it creeping, I know I'm creepy... I mean creeping. If only to catch a glimpse of youth creeping up to me. I love the dream metaphor and the circle!!


On Tuesday January 3rd, 2006, Anna Helianthus (1160) writes:
fucking hell, ron. this is crazy, and perfectly penned. "When we're young and we're feeling afraid, we nievely belive that adulthood is safe." there are a bajillion lines i'd love to quote here. this is one of your best, for sure.


On Sunday December 25th, 2005, weyvern (103) writes:
i love this and it is the best of your poems i think love it! i am a huge fan of your poetry keep it up


On Tuesday November 15th, 2005, TwilightMelodies (1072) writes:
"When we're grown and we're feeling the strain, it's our youth that we'd give, anything to reclaim." AH! You are so lovely dear...


On Tuesday November 15th, 2005, TwilightMelodies (1072) writes:
I am saddened that it took so long for me to find this, and that I only found this through your asking me to view it...this is so very wonderful...every emotion, every line...has driven a nail into my heart...


On Tuesday November 15th, 2005, TwilightMelodies (1072) writes:
This was positively superb, and I am so very glad that you mentioned it to me. To have missed something so wonderful...would have been disasterous to my health. Beautiful piece...gotta fave it. *Evangel*


On Friday October 7th, 2005, Serenity (600) writes:
This was wonderful. The image and emotion was vivid. And the set up just gave this more power.


On Friday October 7th, 2005, redtearswhitesnow (90) writes:
ohh the images,the images.


On Thursday October 6th, 2005, capt_funguy (998) writes:
this was dead on superb simplicity ... to really understand what you're seeing ... to understand the silhouettes as they move ... great , just great ... funguy


On Thursday October 6th, 2005, saintedmad (1178) writes:
reminds me of Boo Radley... always loved Boo.... ~ness~


On Thursday October 6th, 2005, blue (1749) writes:
Nice. Real nice.. quite a picture you've painted.. an altogether vision of truth. Beautiful. *use spell check! use spell check!* :) ~b


On Thursday October 6th, 2005, Err0r (574) writes:
I love the transition 'And I saw you creep. I saw you creep.' Wonderful write. I can't wait for another read from you. =)



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