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this needs fixing but yeah its just an idea.. any feedbacks?



I don't want you
and yet you're top of me
as i try to break through
you're getting too friendly

as i try to push you away
with all of my might, i kicked and screamed
then there's something blocking the airway-
your lusty look when i looked at you, is it a dream?

oh shit no, you pushed me down
i'm thinking, please let it be over
you're wearing the crown
i don't want to be your flavor

fuck, it's coming; a piercing pain
i'm trying to stay sane
closing my eyes tight
god dammit, i'm losing the fight

he pulled his pants up with a satisfaction
i laid there, with no soul
his smile of thank you said it all, no need of an action
get me out of this hellhole

look what you've done to me
the scar of life you left will always be there
you'll be sorry soon, i can't get free
i know right now you don't care...



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If you [Log In] as a member you can discuss this work with others

On Tuesday February 26th, 2008, Nixx (168) writes:
they never do care


On Friday October 26th, 2007, Geisha (754) writes:
I can realate to this...-Airi


On Sunday July 29th, 2007, Clementine (153) writes:
too fucking colloqial and forced rhyme, there are many points i felt that you could bloom but its servely muddled...try to write something with no meaning, rhyme, or rhythm and see what happens


On Sunday April 29th, 2007, AngelicDemonMelisandre (24) writes:
I have a poem similar to this called "thoughts"


On Wednesday March 21st, 2007, An Expired Member (16) writes:
This was amazing. I am speechless!


On Friday January 26th, 2007, Bella Butchery (1143) writes:
i have to say this was appauling (what he did), but spoken so tragically, that sparks of a fallen star or a faith drown. my sympathy and love go out to you, seriously.


On Saturday January 20th, 2007, NapoleonsLust (24) writes:
this was rough to read


On Wednesday January 17th, 2007, jack paper (211) writes:
hard to read, gut wrenching, raw. good write.


On Friday December 15th, 2006, Markus Porkwing (714) writes:
tis a sad, yet happens all the time, kind of poem... bleh.


On Monday November 20th, 2006, Grim_Sorrow (87) writes:
heres to hoping he suffers the consequences... well stated


On Thursday October 26th, 2006, An Expired Member (130) writes:
no grrl ever should go through that


On Thursday October 26th, 2006, An Expired Member (130) writes:
its something I myself have went through


On Thursday October 26th, 2006, An Expired Member (130) writes:
this is.... amazing..


On Wednesday September 27th, 2006, magicpixiefairy (49) writes:
this brought back so many nightmares. But it was deep and amazing, you captured the horror.


On Thursday March 30th, 2006, Beautiful Scars (245) writes:
this is a painfull write, but a good one.. -scars


On Tuesday October 18th, 2005, An Expired Member (16) writes:
Very good. I like it a lot


On Monday October 17th, 2005, TheBardOfBlasphemy (472) writes:
this tears me up inside...


On Friday October 14th, 2005, Sentient Ignorance (35) writes:
Thank you for sharing, it's beautiful in its disgusting truth. I love it.


On Thursday October 13th, 2005, Spyral (31) writes:
i really like this.. I hope that eventually you will add some more to this


On Thursday October 13th, 2005, Deeter (30) writes:
The title makes this truly entrancing, the pleading for it to be over, like asking the guy to ejaculate to end it. It really hits you... I like


On Thursday October 13th, 2005, aCiD aNgEL (35) writes:
been there.... nice write babe.. good job.


On Thursday October 13th, 2005, An Expired Member (43) writes:
i like this so far



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/10909/70567 on Friday September 05th, 2008 01:16 PM

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