Lingering Memories (Strings)




Thought of you today
something I hadn't done in such a long time
thought you left
I wish you would have left me alone
like you did a while back.


Got a letter from you today
I didn't think I should have read it
but I did anways
and it brought back old times
when we laughed,
but lately,
I haven't been laughing.


I'm letting myself slip away
over a memory
that I no longer wish to keep
I wish it would just go away
from my life
like you did.


I wish it would brittle into ashes so I shouldn't have to remember.
Once it was a good memory now its painful.
Poking into my side making me cry near to tears.
The words spring out but hold no meaning just old memories. Old thoughts.


Old thoughts that I no longer
wish to have
because they have little needles for fingers
and they like to poke
as they explore the inside of my mind
and the outer shell that protects
(that is supposed to protect)
my heart.


Old times and Distraught days
that I no longer wish
to be graced with
they hurt more then
the rain that drips acid onto my heart.


Drip, Drip
the acid rain drips onto my ever wimpering
my ever shrinking heart
as the memories cloud in
I no longer wish to have.


I struggle to push them away, to make them evaporate with the acid.
 But it is stronger and more stable then I want it to be.
A morphine drip of someones heart that digs into me harder and harder until I'm ready to break.


Someone's heart
I no longer wish to be in
and
I want to break free
from the strings that someone
tied onto me
like a puppet I dangle from
strings
that a hearts holds
stuck in the middle and
my heart is playing tug-a-war.


My mind says let go
my heart does too
but the memories in my head.....
they speak venom
liquid evil
dripping acid.


Got a letter from you today
and
I didn't know if I wanted to read it.


Thought of you today
even though you have changed
I don't even think
I know you anymore
you can take your memories
the fake smiles
that when I was not looking
spat acid
for
I do not wish to have them anymore.


I am slipping away
over memories
that I constantly push away
I want the memories to go
but they want to stay.


I am sick of playing games with you
and your
thumb will not hold
my body down forever,
I am sick of playing acid trips with you.


You left
and
hurt me so
and
now that you are back
you think I should let it go?


You LEFT me
(yeah real friends just pick up and leave
and go half way across the fucking country
and then promise to write
but never get around to it)
and now you want to pick up
where you left it to rot
and rust
3 years ago,
you may have changed
but
people here change too.


I am not the same person
you left behind.

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