Daily repetition.
Sickness and fatigue.
Sleep. Just let me sleep.
Forever. To hide
this weak state.
Along with
surrounding situations.

I w a s strong.
So strong.
I could sacrifice myself...
a cigarette...
nice substitution for food,
when it's lacking.
Moving all day.
Running. Like a kid.
So full of energy.

But now...
I have collapsed.
Laying in the dirt,
curled so tight, just
to yearn for invisibility.

And these people.
...so called friends.
No friends of mine!
They take and take
from me...
Demanding endlessly
but anything in return?
...guess...

I cannot survive on
that cigarrette.
I cannot even smoke.
Gotta stay healthy
so...ok. I buy food.
No fridge...so dry food.

And slowly...
but quickly it disappears.
By me? not really.
They take, but don't replace.
Losers.
Idiots.
None have a fucking car.
So
"drive me here!" ... "and there"
but gas money?
Not!

Im tired.
Im sick and weak
I am ragefull!
You should be helping me out!!
Not mooching.

Same shit at work...
By myself I work.
Alone.
With phones ringing
nonstop.
People need this.
Spoiled selfish people.
Can't do a god damn thing
by themselves.
So, I ask for help...

Please, have another
person here. On these busy shifts.
I...NEED...HELP!
Do they? ...No.
They have 12 employees...
ALTOGETHER!
but can't sacrifice anything
for this miserable
pregnant fool.

Won't even pay for benefits.
As month 3 goes by and still
...no doctor has seen me.

No help.
Do everything on my own.
Thats how I'd prefer it...
under different circumstances.

As I am about to die
or...kill everyone...

You! So selfishly...
so ...cockily... have the NERVE
to say (as you lounge in your home)
...you entertain me.

FUCK YOU!!! ...you f.u.c.k.i.n.g. prick!

When did I become so worthless?
so...LOW. That I matter not.
That I am labelled doormat
because I'd offered to help.
When did I become
the dirt
you walk upon?

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