A wise man once said,
"What happened to you will make you stronger."
        i wonder how hurt he was
   ** or if he could feel the throbbing pain down there **
        and the dirt that wouldn't wash out of my skin
        or the hurt that caused my heart to bleed

six years later,
and i am still dealing with the hurt and frustration and confusion.

        am i a stronger person now?
  ** i am no longer naive and shy. **
        and i know how to stick up for myself.

but there was no way i could do that back then.

i was still looking for an identity.
and i thought those people could give it to me.

        they called me a whore.
   ** a 14 year old whore... **

and to you...who have made such a life for yourself. with
your wife, and your baby girl.

sometimes i wish the same on your little girl, that you have done
to me.

but it isn't her fault her father was
young and immature
and decided to rape a young girl, asleep in a bed.

i know you will never read this. hell, you don't even know
where i am anymore, or who i've become. and everytime i see you
walking down the street, you avert your eyes and pretend that my
glare doesn't hurt. i wonder if it does. and i wonder if you even
remember how you hurt me, or if i was the first. or the last.

and as much as i still hurt
and the motion picture of my mind
is tarnished with scenes of you.

i know that i am stronger.

because i have moved on.
          i have given myself a new identity.
   ** one of dignity, **
          and self-rightousness.

and i know your identity has been left with the 14-year old whore.

© froG_pRinceSs 1999

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